Odd One Out
by AmakiirDragon
Summary: Jakson Hawke is blessed with the gift of magic but he often considers it more of a curse. He has his own odd view on mages and templars and his joking attitude, though often lightens the mood, can sometimes grate on others' nerves. All Jakson really wants is to be accepted and not feared because of his magical talent and it's the most unlikely person who sees past his "curse."
1. Rounding Up Misfits

**Important Note for New Readers:** Here is a guide for the differences in the text so there isn't any confusion.

**Bold** means that the Spirit of Hope is speaking to Jakson through their connection. (It may later represent a demon talking but I will make it clear if that is the case in future chapters.)

_Italics_ shows Jakson's thoughts, whether he is talking to himself or the Spirit of Hope. (It may also represent another character's thoughts, but once again I will make it clear when that happens.)

Large blocks of text typed in _Italics_ show dreams or memories, it will be made clear in the story.

And single words in the text that are _Italics _just show emphasis, particularly in the dialogue.

Please enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

Jakson's silver eyes flickered up as a couple of men and a woman in plate armor passed him by. He recognized the insignia engraved on the plate immediately. _Templars_. He turned back toward his brother and the dwarf who were bickering at each other. Jakson gave a slight huff and moved a hand over his short black hair, the slight fuzzy feel comforting him. He kept pace with them before the stopped. He stood by Carver's side as he continued to listen.

"No!" the dwarf looked like he wanted to gouge out his own eyes "Andraste's tits, human! The entire city wants to be my best friend right now"

"Look, we know you're going into the Deep Roads. You'll need to hire the best and we're…"

"No" the dwarf cut him off "You're too late! Already done!"

"The money from this trip could fix everything! You need us. How many of your men can say they fought Darkspawn without wetting themselves?"

"Look, precious, I don't care if you tore off the horns of an ogre with your bare hands"

The young man turned toward Jakson, his blue eyes flashing annoyance, and thrust a finger toward the dwarf "You make him understand! We're running from _your_ bloody templars!"

"Could you say that a little louder? I don't think they heard you" Jakson replied quietly, cautiously looking around while Carver firmly shut his mouth. Jakson turned his attention back to the short bearded man before speaking "My brother has a point… it's on the top of his head, but still"

"Gee, thanks for that"

Jakson ignored his brother's agitated look "My brother can be hotheaded, but we do have the skills to be a great asset to you"

"More like a pain in the ass. You and every other Ferelden in this dump is trying to get out of the slums. Find another meal ticket" and with that the dwarf retreated before the Hawke brothers could get another word in.

"That's just great" Carver spat while rustling his black hair in frustration "Bartrand was our last option. You know, I'm starting to wonder if mother's right about us not getting any credible work because of those damn tattoos on your cheeks!"

"I'm not the one with a Mabari that can bark on his skin" Jakson smirked.

"At least I have it covered up!" It wasn't his tattoos, it was Carver's attitude and the fact most people in Kirkwall seemed to despise Fereldens. He couldn't really blame his brother's annoyance with the way people treated them. He also knew better than to point out Carver's temper seeing as his little brother wasn't really all that little, standing several inches taller and was far more muscular than Jakson. He'd lose a fist fight in minute without his magic. "What are you worried about anyway? The templars dogging us are _mine_ after all"

"Did I really sound that bad?" Carver covered his face with his hands and sighed "Maker, I'm turning into Gamlen" he removed his hands to see his brother smile as he walked up and threw an arm around Carver's shoulders.

"You just need to get out of the house more often. It's far too stuffy in there"

"Gamlen! Maybe he can help us"

Jakson's eyes widened a little at Carver's sudden idea. "You catch more flies with honey but Gamlen's bullshit could work too"

"Well he did get us into the city, right? What choice do we have?" Carver shrugged his brother's arm off and started toward Lowtown.

As if their day couldn't get any worse, a man with red hair "bumped" into Jakson and ran off with his coin purse, not that it had much in it anyway. However, their luck seemed to turn around as the thief was pinned to a building by a crossbow bolt. A dwarf carrying an oversized crossbow strolled up to the man and claimed the bag before punching the poor sod square in the jaw. He yanked out the bolt saying "Off you go" before tossing the coin purse to Jakson. He introduced himself as Varric Tethras, younger brother of Bartrand and part of the expedition. He had his blond hair pulled back and wore a heavy leather coat with an open shirt revealing his vast amount of chest hair. Unlike most dwarves he seemed to be lacking along and intricately braided beard. The dwarf held laughter in his eyes and his smirk was mischievous.

Varric proposed an idea to them. If they could earn enough money they could help pay for the expedition and earn a share of the profit. Unfortunately they didn't have much on them but the dwarf said he could help find work as apparently everyone in the city needed something. At Carver's suggestion, the first thing the three did was travel up the enormous stairs to the Viscount's Keep to find the brothers' friend, Aveline. When they arrived, the woman with ginger hair seemed to be out of it, staring at the guard roster. She didn't even notice their arrival.

"Good morning, Aveline" Jakson beamed as he walked up to her.

"Hello, Hawke" the guardswoman replied flatly, bright green eyes still focused on the roster.

"That's it? No 'oh Jakson how I've missed you' or 'get lost you crazy kid'?"

"What? Oh right sorry, it feels like we just talked. I've been keeping an eye on you two" she gestured between the brothers "Watch out for Bartrand, he's a son of a bitch"

"You'd have to be blind not to notice that" Varric chimed in "Actually, even blind beggars flip him the bird"

Jakson frowned slightly as he spoke "You know I don't like it when you have people watch me"

"Saved me camping on your doorstep. I look after my friends" Aveline sighed as she leaned back against the wall. Apparently her post at the guard wasn't turning out the way she thought it would. She was constantly stepping on someone's toes and hated how she couldn't go where she needed. An idea seemed to strike her as she turned back to the brothers. She asked if they were looking for any work and Jakson piped up immediately.

"Sign us up!"

"I haven't even told you what the job entails"

"I'm sure that it's filled with justice and sprinkled with good seeing as you're the one asking" Jakson chuckled which got him a glare from the guard. "Okay, okay" he waved his hands in defeat "What is the job?"

"Highwaymen are planning an attack up Sundermount. It's probably a caravan, funny thing is no shipments match up, but it doesn't matter. If we don't stop them they'll attack someone"

"And you can just hire civilians?" Carver broke in.

"The Guard is stretched thin sometimes, so the occasional outside help is common. As long as they're competent. You still claim to be competent right?"

"You've got yourself a partner, Aveline… or three"

"Good"

"As long as we're heading up Sundermount do you mind if we pay the Dalish a visit? We still have to pay off our debt and I'd rather not have a witch of the wilds on my ass"

"You didn't think I'd just let you wander off did you?" Aveline smirked.

"So, off to the Dalish after Highwaymen head bashing?"

"Yes"

"Goodie" Jakson smiled as the group quickly left the Keep for Sundermount. Aveline was right about the ambush. Well equipped highwaymen had set up along a secluded route. It didn't actually seem that well traveled so why they had set up there seemed odd. Aveline had mentioned how no caravans had set route through the path so everything seemed a tad off. It didn't seem to matter in the end anyway as the thugs had been dealt with so they couldn't hurt anyone anymore.

The bandits might have been easy but the task given to Jakson by the Witch of the Wilds, was not so easy. As expected, the Dalsih elves had shown hostility to the group as most were weary of humans. After explaining why they were there the two scouts relented and let them pass to find Keeper Marethari. Originally, Jakson though all he had to do was give the Keeper an amulet and be done with it but he soon realized there was more to it, as there often was with anything. They had to take the amulet from there, look for an elf named Merril, and travel to some shrine to perform a ritual. The Keeper assured that Merrill would know exactly what to do. The group walked a little past the camp when Jakson raised his hand to stop the group. He heard a faint noise, almost ethereal, that sent a shiver down his spine. The noise turned into a whisper that lingered in his ears. He could almost feel another presence and it seemed as though it wanted something, power maybe.

**It is a demon. It desires power but I do not know where it resides.**

Jakson flinched when he heard the feminine but strong voice in his head. After all these years he still wasn't use to the spirit inside his head. Probably because she wasn't really in his head, she just spoke to him through the Fade when she desired. _Shit. Hope, I told you not to scare me like that. Knock first or something._

**Should I decide to "knock" on something I do not think your reaction would change much.**

_You're probably right._

"Why are we stopping?" Carver bit out "We're not here to smell the roses." As soon Carver spoke the nagging voice dissipated.

"Didn't you hear that?"

"All I hear are the angry glares coming from the Dalish" Varric had walked up to Jakson "I don't think they liked that tea and cake joke as much as you"

"Wh-who's there?" a small and frightened voice came from behind a small hill. A young elven woman came into view as she climbed the hill "Oh, you must be the one the Keeper told me about. Aneth ara. Wait, I didn't ask your name… unless, it's not rude to ask a human their name, is it?"

"It's alright, you'll have to try harder than that to offend me" Jakson smiled as he jogged the small distance between them and held out his hand "Jakson Hawke. I presume you're Merrill?"

The woman nodded and stared at the offered hand with confusion before making a small 'o' shape with mouth. She took the hand gently and gave it a short shake before releasing the larger hand. The petite elf started rambling about her unfamiliarity with human customs because she never actually interacted with a human before. She quickly stopped her ramble and apologized for being a bore. She seemed like a nice enough girl so Jakson couldn't help but smile at her. She led them up the mountain where they came across another elf who sneered at Merrill. He stormed down the slope, complaining about how he couldn't wait for her to leave.

Jakson walked up to her and tried his hand at humor "So Sundermount looks very… mountainous today, doesn't it? Lots of rock… and hillside." All his comment received was an awkward cough from behind and a sad look from the Dalish girl. She apologized for her people before continuing up the mountain.

As they climbed the mountainside stones started skittering across the ground. Skeletons crawled from out of the dirt and attacked them almost every step of the way. Merrill had surprisingly jumped into the fray but instead of a bow or sword she conjured magic to aid them. Jakson wasn't really that surprised that she was a mage, in fact he was curious about how the Dalish handled templars and possessed mages but they had no real time to chat with the dead rising from the ground. They had to travel through the mountain at one point before they reached the other side.

The party was exhausted as they finally reached a magical barrier that was between them and their destination. Jakson studied but he couldn't sense any way around it. Merrill walked up to the barrier and asked the others to stand back. Not sensing anything wrong with her request they all stepped away. Merrill turned back to the barrier as she pulled a knife from her belt.

"Uh, Merrill? What are…" but before Jakson could finish the elf had sliced her hand open. The smell blood filled the air along with uneasiness from the companions. The air felt thick and heavy, looming over them and Jakson could feel a small tear in the veil form. The blood from Merrill's hand slashed out at the barrier, turning into a large red haze of magical energy that quickly dispelled the barrier.

"The way forward is clear" Merrill spoke softly.

"That was not normal" Carver said as he looked to his brother uncertain. Varric and Aveline seemed to be just as uneasy about the situation but weren't entirely sure what happened so they looked to him for an answer.

"That was Blood magic" Jakson almost growled but restrained himself. He was afraid of inciting her because a blood mage could be dangerous. "You summoned a demon!"

"Yes, it was a demon but I know what I'm doing" the elf said defensively "The demon helped us."

"Maybe so but demons don't keep helping. They just use you"

"Demons are just like spirits. Like honor or joy" she shook her head.

Jakson felt as well as heard the voice in his head again. It spoke calmly but seemed a bit offended. **I do not think I like being compared to that of a demon, regardless that both spirits and demons are embodiments of your mortal emotions and morals.**

The spirit of Hope's words did not reach anyone else's ears, they only listened when the elf next spoke "Tread carefully, the veil is thin here and the dead do not like visitors."

Soon enough, just as they approached the altar, bones slowly emerged from the dirt and formed complete skeletons wielding various weapons. Jakson quickly ducked a blade before weaving magic to form ice crystals that shot from the ground, immobilizing three skeletons. Varric fired a hail of arrows on a few archers near the back as Carver and Aveline took their swords and charged the closest enemies. Merrill stood next to Jakson as she summoned roots from the ground to impale the dead that had passed the warriors.

Jakson turned as he heard casting to see a figure call upon arcane energy and aimed for the unsuspecting elf. He shoved Merrill aside only to get caught by the spell instead. He was thrown several feet before hitting the side of a large boulder, air knocked from his lungs as he slumped to the ground "Carver!" he shouted after he took a deep breath "Mage!" He didn't need to explain to his brother. After cutting the skull off his opponent Carver turned on his heel to see an Arcane Horror preparing another spell. He leapt into the air swinging his greatsword into the creature's side. It howled in pain before releasing the spell. The ground around the two started to glow blue and Carver felt as if his blood was being drained from his body but the feeling soon vanished as a barrier of arcane energy wrapped around him.

Jakson had regained his senses in time to erect the barrier hoping to at least slow the effects of the other spell. He switched from offensive to defensive spells immediately to keep Carver and anyone else from more harm. He followed with a small bit of healing magic once the bubble around his brother was set.

After years of training and lessons from their father the brothers had a system for dealing with mages. Carver could do the most damage so he would attack while Jakson kept any magic him and provide support. They knew mages had to go first otherwise a battle could go from bad to worse in an instant. Luckily for them it wasn't just the two of them.

Carver stumbled a little but regained his footing and took another swing too little too late as the Horror teleported across the graveyard. The Horror started another chant but was silenced as a bolt lodged itself in the creature's skull and it crumpled to the ground. The group heard someone shout "Bianca! That was beautiful" but they ignored it in favor of dealing with the remaining undead. The rest of the fiends didn't last long.

Once the danger had passed and Jakson checked everyone for injuries the group approached the altar. Merrill placed the amulet upon it and started an elven prayer. When it was finished the companions were blinded by a light that swallowed the mountain. It slowly faded, revealing an old woman with a sinister smile and demonic yellow eyes.

"Ah, so refreshing to see someone who keeps their end of the bargain" the old woman replied, a laughter in her eyes "I half expected to find my amulet in a merchant's pocket"

"No one wanted to buy it" came Jakson's cheeky remark "probably because it had a witch inside."

The woman only cackled "I see you haven't changed."


	2. More Trouble Than They're Worth?

**Chapter 2**

_Don't hesitate to leap?_ _What is it I'm supposed to leap into, an abyss? Leaping into an abyss just sounds like a bad idea. You know I'm just of the opinion all women are crazy._

**She did not say anything about an abyss and I am not sure this Witch of the Wilds can be considered a woman.**

_Why do you say that?_

**Do you truly desire an answer?**

_Forget I asked._

Jakson and company were trekking down the mountain once Flemeth had taken off. The group had arrived back at the Dalish camp and waited for Merrill to say her goodbyes and gather her belongings. She wanted to live in Kirkwall, believing she had no place among her clan any longer and Jakson had agreed to take her to the city upon the Keeper's request. Once she was done the exhausted band of adventurers started their long walk back to the city. They reached the Alienage about an hour before sunset to drop Merrill off. She seemed almost horrified when they arrived as she looked around and saw elves in ragged clothes and dirt smudged on their faces.

"This is where the elves really live?" she glanced up at the giant tree in the center of the small plaza. It had paint that swirled from root to branch and soft blue candles surrounded its base.

"At least it doesn't have the view of the giant chains. Take what you can get" Varric offered the skittish elf.

"I've never seen so many people in one place before. It seems so lonely"

"Well, you already know me. I think you're off to a great start" Jakson smiled.

"I… thank you" she returned a small smile "Will you come to visit? Not now of course but maybe… later" she almost seemed afraid of his answer.

Jakson knew she was a blood mage and was taught by his father that such magic was dangerous but the woman in front of him just looked small, confused, and scared. She was more like an innocent child who didn't know it was wrong to stick your hand in the cookie jar before supper rather than an evil mage bent on power and blood. Her innocence almost reminded him of his little sister and that thought brought a bit a pain to his heart. Maybe if he was able to show her just how dangerous blood magic was the young girl might not use it anymore. She wouldn't be convinced immediately but he knew everything took time. Those large olive eyes really did make her look like a kid.

"Of course" he found himself saying "But only because you used that 'you kicked my puppy' voice"

Her face grew relaxed as she smiled "Thank you, oh I'm thanking you too much aren't I? But really… thanks" she waved the companions good night as she headed to her new house.

"Come on, Hawke" Aveline placed her hand on the mage's shoulder "We still need to report to the Captain if you want that reward"

At Aveline's insistence, the four of them returned to the Viscount's Keep, however, they didn't get the reception they expected. Aveline had entered her Captain's office alone, but it took a deaf man not to hear the shouts and prejudice insults that were spat at her and her friends. She stormed out, took a deep breath, and looked at Jakson. He only shrugged and said "Quite the charming fellow isn't he?"

Aveline just shook her head in exasperation before a guardswoman walked up to them, looking relieved. Apparently the woman had been assigned the route they had cleared. It was a single patrol and she would probably be dead had the group not intervened. She informed them that she had a satchel with usual updates of the duty roster but it seemed heavier than usual. She had passed on her satchel to another guard for the night shift in Lowtown, another single patrol. Everyone knew it sounded suspicious and if they left immediately they could find the guard before the night grew too dark.

They came across another ambush by similar men from Sundermount in an alley who were about to finish off the guard that lay helpless at their feet. Jakson threw a magic shield over the man as a sword came down. It bounced off and the thugs turned to the group. There weren't as many this time which was lucky for the friends who were still exhausted from their earlier activities. The criminals didn't last long and Aveline immediately went to the guard's side.

Donnic, was the guard's name, had not noticed Jakson's magic or didn't seem to notice as he made no mention of it. He handed her the satchel giving a sigh of relief after recognizing her. The bag was filled with seals of the Viscount. Apparently a certain Captain was no better than any of the scum they had been fighting all day. They all returned to the Keep in haste where they informed the Seneschal of their discovery. The Captain was dragged out stringing together colorful curses at Aveline and the others. Seneschal Bran informed them that at the Viscount's suggestion that Aveline become the new Captain of the Guard for rooting out such shame.

"Captain of the Guard?" Aveline leaned back against the desk in her soon to be office as she turned bright green eyes to Jakson.

"Can't imagine you'll like walking in my shadow after this"

"It's not like this puts us on opposite sides. Besides, the good you do it seems rather appropriate"

"Well it'll be an honor working with you" he gave a wink "_Guard Captain Aveline_. As much as I love the sound of my own voice at all hours of the day I still need my beauty sleep. Catch you later, _Captain_"

Jakson awoke early the next morning, before the sun broke the horizon, hoping to flee the ramshackle of a building his uncle called a home. For a few hours he simply sat on the steps breathing in the fresh air, not that it could really be called fresh air because the tavern was just a few buildings down, which smelled of stale ale and vomit and the alleys nearby smelled of piss. The combination of the three was unpleasant but better than being trapped in a stuffy house with the same smells. Jakson simply watched as merchants started to setup shop until he heard yelling from the house. He stood and moved to the door, pressing his ear against it to figure out if it was safer to stay outside.

"If I could just see the Will for myself" _mother _"I already told you" _and Gamlen… of course. Can't we live one day without screaming? The neighbors already think we're mad._

**You are not mad. You are quite sane compared to others in this city.**

Jakson ignored the Spirit of Hope as he begrudgingly walked into the house as he felt someone needed to stop the fighting before it escalated.

"Who bought the estate? Was it the…"

"No one you know. This isn't some bad dream. This is where we're going to be living from now on so get use to Lowtown, sister" Gamlen grumbled.

"I'm not dreaming? It's no wonder I can't wake up" Jakson started with a joke as he often did. It usually eased some tension but by the look his uncle threw his way the joke was a bad idea.

"And here I thought you ran off and married an apostate, not a jester, Leandra"

After closing the door behind him Jakson noticed Carver leaning back in a chair with his feet propped up on the table. He seemed intent on staying out of the conversation as he watched paint slowly chip off the wall and mindlessly tapped his fingers on the rotting wood. Sometimes Jakson envied his brother's ability to keep his mouth shut and stay out of affairs even if he only did it on rare occasions. Jakson could never really help himself. "Surely there's nothing wrong with letting mother see the Will, uncle. She has a right to after all" he offered a smile hoping it would ease his uncle.

"Maybe so but it isn't here. It's locked in the vault on the estate so you can't see it anyway."

"What daft bastard leaves that behind?" Carver spat, apparently he couldn't keep quite long. A bark of agreement came from the other room as a Mabari walked out and plopped down next to Jakson's feet.

"Ugh!" Gamlen threw his arms in the air "Great, now the bloody dog is harassing me!"

The Mabari gave a small whine. "Honestly Gamlen, a Mabari understands you. Try using his name."

"What's wrong with Dog?"

"Because his name is Watson" Jakson sighed as he rubbed his temples. Ever since he arrived in Kirkwall Jakson had become easier to irritate but counting backwards from ten usually did the trick to relax him. Lothering was far more peaceful to him, but that was probably because every person he walked by didn't call him a Dog Lord or spit in his face. Now he knew how Orlesians felt when they decided to step into the cold country of Ferelden.

He took a breath and pinched his nose. "Come on boy." Jakson walked over to the door and opened it again to leave. "Let's go play Fetch the Invisible Ball." After the Mabari pounced out the door Jakson slammed it behind him. He looked down at Watson with sad eyes. No one knew why Jakson cared for the dog so much but everyone in the family had treated him as a person… except Gamlen. The dog had saved his life once but he never told anyone. The only person who knew was his father but he was gone now.

Jakson had managed to find a stick and tossed it for Watson before Carver stepped out a few minutes later. He walked down the steps and sat as he watched the two play. A comfortable silence settled between them before Carver finally let his thoughts out. "I know Gamlen isn't the best but can you blame him? Left alone to fix everyone's problems, looking for approval while stuck in his older sibling's shadow"

_And there it was._ "Something you wanna say?" Jakson bit the inside of his cheek. He hadn't meant to voice his thought to his brother. More fighting was the last thing he wanted. He just wanted to get along with his brother. He heard Carver sigh before he continued.

"Look, I found out that Gamlen lost the house to slavers in a damn card game. He's a rather chatty drunk so you can imagine what else I've learned from him. He signed off on all the papers and said the house is heavily guarded. Mother gave me the key to the cellars. There's an entrance in Darktown"

"We could get the Will for mother and take out a few scum in the process" Jakson turned to his brother, a smile beginning to form.

"Thought you'd say that" Carver smirked before tossing him the key "Come on, we can do it later. Varric still wants to talk to you."

The brothers, along with Watson, headed to the Hanged Man. Carver stayed downstairs with the Mabari and ordered a drink as Jakson climbed the steps two at a time. The sooner he finished today's work the sooner he could sneak into the estate for his mother.

His plans however were more or less tossed out the window as the day dragged on. Varric had informed him that they needed the best entrance to their destination. The closer the better. He said a Grey Warden had shown up with Ferelden refugees and was their best chance for a route through the Deep Roads and of course Jakson had agreed to find the man. As if the group didn't need any more problems, the Warden turned out to be another apostate. The friends had found him in a makeshift clinic in Darktown healing the sick and weak for free. After reassuring the blond haired man they meant no harm Jakson introduced himself and got straight down to business. The mage, however, was reluctant to help unless the friends helped him in return.

"You want _me_" Jakson emphasized by pointing to his staff "to fight _templars_?"

"I'm hoping it won't come to that. I just want you to help me get Karl to safety"

"But there _could_ be templars?"

"Yes." _Shit. _Jakson thought as he rubbed his eyeballs "It's the only way you'll get my maps." _Double shit. _"Meet me outside the Chantry just after the sun sets. Now if you'll excuse me I still have patients"

As they turned to leave Jakson muttered "Would rather fight a dragon sitting in the entrance to the Deep Roads"

"Oh come on Hawke" Varric smiled "What's the worst that could happen?"

"He gets captured by templars and made Tranquil" Carver replied dryly.

"That" Varric rubbed his forehead "was a rhetorical question, Junior. And I regret saying it, Hell, I regret thinking it"

"Let's just go" Jakson quickened his pace "We still have other jobs to do before night fall. That fifty sovereigns isn't going to fall from the sky"

The friends had enlisted help from Merrill and spent a good amount of the day running around in circles returning lost items and completing some tasks given by Aveline, nothing of real significance. They had just finished their last job when the sun began to set. Jakson thought it best to leave Aveline out of this job. It was one thing to be a friend of a man who killed templars, it was another to actually kill a templar as the new Guard Captain. So it was Jakson, Carver, Varric, Merrill, and Watson that climbed the steps to the Chantry where they met back up with the Grey Warden, Anders.

Karl had walked in not long ago and the streets seemed empty of anyone suspicious so the group cautiously entered. The older mage was found on the second floor, still alone, he hadn't seemed to have heard them approach until Anders spoke up. The man spoke with no emotion, it was almost unnerving as he turned and Jakson noticed the brand of a sun on the man's forehead. He had been made Tranquil, the man's connection to the Fade severed, and Anders looked like he might be on the brink of tears.

"Here's the mage" Karl motioned at the pillars where templars had been hiding. _Shit _"You're too rebellious Anders, like I was, but they shall fix that" his voice was cold. Jakson couldn't believe they would make someone, anyone Tranquil rather than kill them. It just seemed so inhumane.

As the templars approached Anders practically screamed in rage "No!" he fell to his knees, trembling. Jakson felt odd then, like he wasn't really there, like a dream, like he were in the Fade and the voices around him sounded ghostly. Blue light crackled along Anders body as he stood back up. His eyes had gone from a light brown to glowing blue orbs and as he spoke it sounded as though he were someone else, someone that was out for blood "You shall not take another mage as you took him" magic flashed from his hands and blew most of the templars to the ground.

_Shit, shit, shit!_

**I have noticed you say that quite often. Is not such a term considered rude to you mortals?**

_Not now, Hope!_


	3. Healers, Pirates, and Glowing Elves

**Chapter 3**

"Let me guess, this is the part where you tell me you're an abomination?" Jakson threw his hands up in frustration. The templars that had ambushed them proved to be difficult. The three mages were constantly being cut off from their magic and were forced to mostly resort to melee combat with their staves. Jakson had the easiest time as he'd practice fighting hundreds of times just in case such a situation would present itself.

Once the templars laid slain Anders' friend, Karl, looked around confused. Somehow the Fade had been brought into the room and the mage was no longer Tranquil, but his freedom of emotion was only temporary. Karl had begged Anders to end his life while he could still feel and Anders did as he asked with unshed tears. The group more or less fled the Chantry to Darktown, following the distraught mage.

"You're wrong. But not far wrong." Anders shifted uncomfortably under Jakson's silver eyes. _His eyes look so familiar…_ Anders thought before speaking again "You see, back in Amaranthine I came across a Spirit of Justice trapped outside the Fade in a dead Warden's body. We became friends. We didn't know what would happen to him, if he'd die or return to the Fade. He saw the injustices that mages suffer every day." Anders clenched his fist at the thought "He agreed to help, but he changed. I just had so much anger in me, whenever I see templars now he comes out and he is no longer my friend Justice, he is a force of Vengeance and he has no grasp of mercy." Anders fell back onto the cot behind him and buried his face in his hands.

"Oh that's so horrible!" Merrill said, her wide eyes filled with shock and sympathy.

**I knew I sensed the Fade when he was near.**

_Why didn't you say anything earlier?_

**I sensed no demons at the time. I did not think it relevant.**

_Of course you didn't. As a heads up, I like to know when anything magical or Fade related is going on. Saves me a headache._

**I shall endeavor to remember that.**

Jakson walked slowly to Anders before placing his hand gently on the man's shoulder. When the man looked up he began speaking "You had no way of knowing what would happen. You tried to help a friend and that's what counts. It also explains your whole sexy tortured look." Jakson gave him a warm smile and his eyes almost sparkled.

Anders quirked an eyebrow at the last comment but a smile tugged at his lips. "I have never met a man who would say such things openly. But you are a rare man."Anders stood and walked toward his rundown desk. He unlocked a drawer and pulled out some scrolls before handing it to Jakson. "Here are my maps, as promised, as am I if you wish me to join your expedition" Anders smiled as Jakson took them "It's late and I'm sure you're all tired so I wish you a good night."

_Definitely reminds me of someone I know…_ Anders thought as the group departed. He turned to his desk where a small portrait sat. It hit him almost immediately when he saw the woman with blood red hair and smiling silver eyes in the portrait._ Maritta, the Commander… that's who he reminds me of._ Maritta and Jakson shared the same color eyes but not only that. They were both kind mages who liked to joke around some. He remembered how the Commander had made a pass at him once like Jakson had. If the Commander hadn't disappeared he might have stayed with the Wardens. Both he and Justice often wondered where she had gone off to. It didn't really matter he supposed so Anders blew out his candles before heading to bed.

Jakson had thought the next day would prove to be easier but he just seemed to have the knack for running into people who needed his help. Carver and he had just walked into the Hanged Man to find Varric. They saw three men harassing a woman at the bar. She had dark skin and hair and her outfit reminded Jakson of a skimpy dressed pirate. The boys were about to intervene when the woman slammed one man's head on the counter and head-butted another's face as he grabbed her from behind before ducking a mug that slammed into the man behind her. With a flick of her wrist she had a blade pointed at the leader.

"Tell me Lucky, is this worth dying for?" the man sheathed his sword and fled with the others on his tail.

Jakson gave a long whistle "Ooh, I like her."

"Don't forget why we're here, brother" Carver pulled him up the stairs to the dwarf's suite. Jakson noticed the woman turn her brown eyes to him and give a wink before the men disappeared in the hall.

"Early as usual, Hawke. You know, sometimes I wonder if you ever sleep" Varric beamed as he pushed aside his book and quill "I got bad news and I have good news. Which one do you want first?"

"Let's start the day with some good news."

"The maps Blondie gave us are perfect, there'll be a little more walking than expected but better than walking around in circles with Darkspawn and Maker knows what else."

"And the bad?" Carver frowned.

"We might not have a job today, not even saving kittens from trees."

"Is that it? For a second I thought you were going to tell me I had only a minute left to live" Jakson joked.

"If you're looking for some work I can help." The men turned to see the woman from the bar. "But you'll have to do me a little favor first" her eyes gleamed with mischief as she sauntered into the room.

"It's not starting another bar fight is it?" Jakson joked as she walked up to him.

"Oh nothing like that, I just need _strong, reliable_" she stretched the words slowly as she looked Jakson up and down "men to watch my back"

"I can do that" Jakson smiled as the woman eyed him like a piece of candy "As long as it doesn't involve animals or children"

"No worry there" she smirked.

Apparently the woman, Isabela, had arranged for a duel with a man that was after her hide. She was afraid he wouldn't own up to his end of the bargain and she had been right. Not long after Jakson arrived at the rendezvous in Hightown square that night with Varric, Carver, Watson, and Anders in tow they were ambushed. They found a note on their attacker claiming that Hayder, the man Isabela challenged, was hiding in the Chantry and would be there until his associates returned.

"You know" Carver looked annoyed "if Aveline finds out we broke into the Chantry two nights in row she'll have our heads"

"That's why you don't tell her, Junior" Varric was calm as they ascended the stairs "All you have to do is lock your mouth and throw away the key." Carver frowned making the dwarf give a small chuckle.

"What's the worst that could happen?" Anders asked.

"Ugh, don't ask that, Blondie… ever" Varric groaned "I already made that mistake once."

They confronted Hayder and his goons once inside. Though Jakson wanted to settle things peacefully Isabela had taken the initiative and had thrown a dagger into one of the goon's chest. The fight that ensued was dragged on longer than expected. For every goon that was taken down it seemed two took its place. Once their leader was dead the others fled and the companions let them. Apparently Isabela was the type to "stab first, ask questions later" and told Jakson that Hayder's death was the best solution. Now all she had to worry about was his boss, Castillon, because she freed his cargo of slaves.

So in three days the Hawke brothers had recruited their old friend in the guard, a dwarf with a silver-tongue, an innocent elf that knew blood magic, a rebel Warden mage, and a pirate captain without a ship. In those three days they had also managed to stop an ambush by highwaymen, get the Captain of the Guard fired, fight skeletons, and break into the Chantry… twice and Jakson had the feeling the next day would be just as stimulating.

He was right. Jakson had been rummaging through his mail, finding two letters from Athenril, his former… boss. The first asked for him to meet the smuggler in Hightown for a business proposition. He immediately tossed it in the garbage, and the second was Athenril directing him toward someone else, a dwarf named Anso who needed help and she had recommended him. _Well the job's not from Athenril so maybe it's not that bad… or illegal._ He regretted those words as soon as the jumpy dwarf had told him the job. Luckily it was only Jakson, Varric, and the dog otherwise he would have gotten an earful from Aveline and Carver.

"Let me get this straight" Jakson rubbed his temples "You want me to find your stolen _lyrium _for your clients who happen to be _templars?_"

"Y-yes" the dwarf seemed really jumpy and Jakson doubted most of his paranoia was from the dwarf thinking he'll fall into the sky at any moment "It's really simple."

"The job is pretty straight forward… and _illegal_."

"I-I don't understand w-what the problem is" the dwarf was becoming more anxious, eyeing every alley. It was like the man thought someone was hiding and watching his every move, and if that was the case that meant Jakson was being watched as well.

**Do you hear the singing? It is beautiful.**

Jakson chose to ignore Hope as she often made strange comments like that. All he knew was that he didn't hear any singing, just the beginning of a bad idea. "Of course you don't. Look, you want someone to help with your smuggling go ask someone else" Jakson turned to leave but Anso latched onto his arm like a leech.

"Wait! I-I'll make it worth your time."

"We do need the money, Hawke" Varric seemed just as reluctant to help.

Jakson groaned before turning back to the nervous dwarf. He was still holding on to Jakson like he was his life-line. "Fine" he sighed as he tried to shake off the nervous dwarf.

Jakson had convinced both Carver and Aveline to help him that night only because he "forgot" to give them all the details. He just said that an honest Merchant, which the dwarf was quite honest about his business, had his merchandise stolen from him. They didn't really need all the details, did they? Jakson prayed that he just had to deliver the package and the dwarf would say nothing.

As anticipated the warehouse in the Alienage was filled with a few of the thieves who were easily dispatched. However the only thing in the warehouse was an empty chest. Varric seemed just a little peeved about the goose chase while Jakson prayed that he would be unfortunate enough to not be able to complete his job, which to him would actually be fortunate. They stepped outside the building to find over a dozen men carrying swords and shields.

"That's not the elf" one of them growled in annoyance.

"Doesn't matter" another spoke "We were told to attack anyone who came out of the building."

With all their enemies so close together it made it easier for Jakson to shoot one of the thugs with his chain lightning spell that spread to the majority of their enemies, temporarily stunning them. With little room to maneuver the attackers were at a great disadvantage and were easily picked off. As the last one was slain a man from the top of the stairs approached.

"I don't know who you are, but you made a serious mistake coming here" he snarled at Jakson "Lieutenant! I want everyone in the clearing. Now!"

"C-Captain" a man holding a deep wound to the chest walked from around the corner before falling to the ground. An elf with stark white hair followed suit and walked around the dead man to descend the stair case past the Captain.

"Your men are dead" the elf said calmly in a rich and deep voice "and your trap has failed. I suggest running back to your master while you can"

"You are going nowhere, slave!" the man yanked on the elf's shoulder and in response the elf spun around, his body shimmered a blue glow and he thrust his fist into the man's chest. The man tried to breathe but only gurgled up blood, falling to the dirt as the elf pulled out the man's heart and tossed it to the side.

_That's…that's just gross._

**How could the singing be "gross?" The sound is lovely.**

_What Maker damn singing? I don't hear anything. Also, I was talking about the heart ripping._

**Ah, yes. That does qualify as "gross" I suppose.**

Jakson gave a slight shake of his head as once again he decided that talking to the spirit was not always a good idea. He just hoped the bloody image of the heart wouldn't last long. The elf then turned to Jakson, his forest green eyes almost sparkling in the moon light.

"I apologize. When I asked Anso for a distraction I did not think the Hunters would be so… numerous"

For a moment Jakson was spellbound by the elf's deep voice. Most elves, even the men were higher pitched than humans. He had spoken to many elves before, so when the elf in front of him spoke he was caught off guard by the low, strong voice. Jakson also noted the exotic white tattoos that ran over the elf's arms and neck; they reminded him of tree branches. The tattoos snaked around his skin and went further down until it disappeared under the man's leather armor making him wonder just how far they went. He soon remembered the man standing five feet away and hoped he hadn't been quiet for too long, it would lead to awkward conversations later."Don't worry, we do this all the time."

The man eyed the group and the dozen dead men, quirking an eyebrow "Impressive. My name is Fenris. These men were Imperial Bounty Hunters looking to reclaim a magister's lost property. Namely myself"

"I'm Jakson Hawke" he gave a small flourishing bow before turning to his companions. "My brother Carver, the Mabari is Watson, the dwarf with the oversized crossbow is Varric, and this is Guard Captain Aveline." Jakson turned back to the elf with curious eyes before continuing "It seems like a lot of effort to find just one slave"

"It is" the elf agreed simply.

"Does it have something to do with those markings?" Jakson sensed the slight buzz of magic, like lyrium, emanating nearby but didn't quite know where from.

_This man is… intriguing._

**The song he plays is lovely.**

_Still don't hear anything, Hope. Are you feeling well? Can spirits catch a cold? Because I think you might have one… or you're just a loon._


	4. A Mage Too Many

**Chapter 4**

"Yes, I imagine I must look strange to you" the elf glanced down at his arms, turning them to get a better view. "I did not receive these markings by choice, even so they have served me well."

_Where is this magic I'm sensing? It's so strong I can even smell the lyrium. Why does lyrium always smell metallic anyway? Better question, why does it taste metallic?_

**I do not know why you believe it tastes so but I would have thought you would know where it is coming from. The magic is coming from the elf.**

_He's a mage?_

**No. He just holds lyrium in his possession and it is the lyrium which sings.**

_Singing lyrium? I was right, you are a loon._

**It sings to spirit and demon. It is how we sense it both in the Fade and your mortal realm. So a loon I am not.**

Jakson decided to just take Hope's word for it and turned his attention back to the elf. Jakson got the feeling he had been talking to the spirit a little too long as Fenris was staring him down, waiting for a reply. The mage gave a nervous smile in an attempt to reassure the elf he was paying attention. "You didn't have to lie to get my help, you know."

"That has yet to be seen. I-If I may ask, what was in the chest? The one they kept in the house?"

"It was empty."

"I suppose it was too much to hope for, even so I had to know"

Jakson was going to ask what Fenris thought was in the chest, but it was honestly none of his business and he wasn't sure how many unanswered questions could swim around his head before he went insane. It was bad enough that it seemed Hope was trying to reenact the singing she heard in his head. "All that for an empty chest?"

"No. There's more" the elf knelt next to the corpse of the Captain and found a small note in one of the pockets with a seal of some sort on it. "It's as I thought. My former master accompanied them to the city. I know you have questions, but I must confront him before he flees. I will need your help."

"Seeing as you're asking this time, how can I say no?" Jakson smirked "We're losing moonlight so I suppose leaving now is better than later so I suggest you lead the way" he motioned to the stairs. The elf in front of him seemed slightly surprised by his quick agreement to help but simply nodded and led them from the Alienage.

"Why must you always help people?" Carver was annoyed, which was a very common occurrence.

"Oh come on. Helping people is fun and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside" he gave Carver a goofy grin but his brother only huffed in response, while Watson barked in agreement with Jakson. "Besides, people will do anything for you when they owe you a favor. I got someone to dance for me once. Priceless"

"Would you really allow that slaver to reclaim this man, Carver?" Aveline bit out.

"Is now really the best time to fight?" Jakson sighed "If you must argue at least wait till after the magister is dead otherwise you two are gonna give us away and I really don't want to fight a prepared mage."

"What are you worried about?" Carver asked.

"Being turned into a toad? I here that's what templars are always afraid of" he joked. "Or made into a stew. Though I think that's just witches traipsing about the wilds. Hmm, now I want stew, templar free of course"

"Must be hard wearing plate as a toad" the dwarf chimed. "Can't imagine chasing apostates like that."

_What strange people have you hired Anso? I suppose I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth_ Fenris thought as the group continued through the market toward the Chantry before reaching the luxurious mansions of Hightown. The group was able to find a servant's entrance into the mansion that belonged to the magister. Once they entered it seemed rundown, boxes strewn about and cobwebs in the corners. As they entered what seemed to be a kitchen they heard a shriek and the air felt heavy. Out of the corner of his eye Jakson saw a Shade phase through the floor next to him. Several more Shades rose from the floor and surrounded the companions in one swift motion.

_Wow! Too close for comfort!_ Jakson barely dodged a claw aimed at his chest. The room was too small, if he used his magic he could hit someone. He pulled out his staff and flipped it so the bladed end faced the creature. As the Shade tried another attack Jakson thrust his staff forward catching it in the chest. He pulled it out and twirled his weapon bashing the mace part of the staff across the creature's head. Another came from behind and he ducked having the Shade hit its own ally. _Not very smart are they?_

**You should be glad they cannot hear your thoughts as I can. They would not take kindly to your words.**

Before he could fend off his new adversary a huge sword sliced it in two, the creature fading from view. Fenris had managed to easily dispatch his Shades and had moved to assist Jakson. His green eyes shone like a wildfire as he moved onto the next. It was clear by the look he had seen that Fenris would like nothing more than the magister's head on a pike. Jakson briefly wondered if he just felt such hatred for his former master or all mages but he put the thought aside, declaring it unimportant at the moment.

After the Shades were killed Jakson moved to make sure if everyone was alright, they were but the elf was angry that the magister would be such a coward as to send spirits. Jakson agreed, the man was a coward for not facing the consequences of his actions. Fenris and Aveline took the lead into the next room with Carver and Watson in the rear in case they continued to be ambushed. This room was far more spacious with a dual staircase at the end and this time over a dozen Shades rose from the floor. The two warriors in front charged into the foyer while Varric shot a volley on the Shades upon the stairs. More raised from behind that the Hawke brothers and Watson engaged. Jakson was forced to keep switching from close combat to his magic. He chanced a look at his companions who seemed to be okay for the moment before he sensed a tear in the veil.

**It is a Rage Demon. You must end it quickly.**

Jakson frantically looked around and saw fire erupt from behind the elf "Fenris! Behind you!"

The elf turned and was slammed to the ground, his arm burning from the fire that latched onto his skin. He gazed upward to see the fiery form of a Rage Demon summon more fire that was aimed for him. He didn't have enough time to react as the fire burst from the creature's fingers. He closed his eyes and braced himself for the pain that would follow but no flame touched him. His eyes flew open to see a shimmering barrier between him and the demon. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jakson run up and heard the man chanting underneath his breath. Ice crystals shot up from the ground piercing the demon in several places as it roared. Another chant and more ice shot from the man's hand effectively freezing the creature_. _It was then that Fenris knew he was a mage.Fenris jumped to his feet and hacked at the frozen demon, shattering it to pieces.

Shades started to circle the two and Jakson sent a wave of energy out that forced some of them back but not very far. They closed around them but were cut down by Aveline and Carver. "Need some help brother?" Carver smirked.

"Did I look that desperate?" Jakson chuckled as the brothers moved back to back.

"Maybe."

A bolt sped past the brothers, piercing the closest one to Jakson. The creature slumped through the floor. "That's another one for me!" Varric cheered "How many you got, Hawke?"

"Was I supposed to keep track? My bad."

"Probably better that way" Aveline said as she bashed a shade with her shield "You wouldn't want to feel inadequate with your lack of kills. I bet Watson has more than you." Watson, for his part, barked happily.

"Do I sense a joke… from you? I really am a bad influence."

"You have no idea, Jakson."

"Hey! All I do is try to keep up everyone's moral and if that requires jokes and bad puns so be it. It's your job as a warrior to punch things."

The Shades were soon cut down and the rest of the mansion was filled with more of them. They were forced to run around in a circle until they could find a key to the main bedroom before ending back up in the main hall. Fenris had run up the stairs and slammed open the door that led to the master bedroom but it was empty. More Shades and an Arcane Horror appeared behind them.

_Whoever Fenris' master is he's a powerful blood mage. How can one man summon so many demons? _

**Do not underestimate a demon's strength or that of the mage it is using.**

Jakson had almost run out of mana at this point but the creatures seemed weaker than the last so it didn't take much effort to dispose of them. Jakson walked over to Carver to heal a gash on his forehead while Fenris paced angrily before heading to the exit.

"Gone" the elf mumbled. "I had hoped… no. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm sure Danarius left some valuables. Take them if you wish I… need some air" and he walked out the door.

When Carver finally convinced his brother to stop fussing over his scratches the group left the mansion to seek out the elf. He had not gone too far, just outside, leaning against the wall. He heard them come out but did not turn to meet them.

"It never ends" the elf sounded bitter. "I escaped a land of dark magic only to have it hunt me at every turn. It is a plague burned into my flesh and my soul. And now I find myself in the company of yet another mage" he turned to Jakson with hatred burning in his eyes as he cautiously walked up to him. "I saw you casting spells inside. I should have realized sooner what you really were" Fenris hesitated a moment as he saw hurt flash in the man's eye a second but he quickly continued speaking "Tell me then, what manner of mage are you? What is it you seek?"

Jakson gave a smile, one that did not quite reach his eyes. "You want me to tell you and ruin the fun?"

"You are skilled. That much I know."

"Not all mages are the same" Aveline stepped forward with a determined set to her jaw. "If they were I'd be the first to act"

"If you have a problem with my brother" Carver stepped in between Jakson and Fenris, scowling at the elf while keeping a hand on the handle of his sword, "then you have a problem with me."

Jakson gave a sad smile, patting Watson on the head to stop his growling, before grabbing his brother's arm "Don't."

"But he…"

"Has every right to be cautious. You know as well as I that temptation could turn me and after what he's been through I can't say I blame him." Carver reluctantly backed down as Jakson turned to the elf "It appears I should be the one apologizing this time for deception. I… forget at times that some are weary of magic"

The elf bowed his head in shame for a moment "I imagine I sound ungrateful, if so I apologize for nothing could be further from the truth. Here" he walked up to Jakson and handed him a small pouch of gold, "this is all the payment as Anso promised though I do not feel it is enough. Should you have need of my services you can find me here. If Danarius wishes his mansion back he is free to reclaim it"

"You weren't all too thrilled with him a moment ago" Carver bit out.

"He is not Danarius. Should he be anything like him has yet to be seen."

"You said that Danarius wanted your markings. Why?" Jakson asked, his curiosity finally getting the better of him.

"They are lyrium branded into my skin."

**As I said earlier.**

_No, what you said was that he had lyrium._

Jakson studied the markings again, tilting his head as he thought about earlier that night "So technically Anso wasn't lying about the package being lyrium?"

"Correct."

"He just lied about giving it to templars?"

"Is that what we were doing?" Aveline turned to Jakson, glaring at him.

_Way to go, Jakson. Say something else stupid, I dare you_.

**You talk to yourself as though you are two people and yet you insist I am the loon.**

Jakson ignored the sassy spirit as he looked toward Aveline."No, clearly we were helping an escaped slave" he pointed to Fenris and gave his best smile. It didn't seem to work though as the woman continued to glare daggers at him, so he turned back to elf, hoping to change the topic. "If you're truly interested we're planning an expedition and might need the extra help, but only if you want to."

"You shall have my aid. I am a man who keeps his word and I shall repay you."

"Well then, welcome aboard. Just as a heads up we have two more companions who… are also mages. Just fair warning should you be afraid of being turned into a toad."

"I thank you for it"

"The hour is late so I wish you a good night, Fenris. Oh and here" Jakson dropped the coin bag back in a very surprised elf's hand. "Can't imagine what you'd eat without it. I don't think roasted rat is a very good diet, or roaches for the matter" Jakson bid the others good night as well before the brothers left with Watson on their heel. Carver noticed the sad look in his brother's eye and mentally cursed the elf for his rudeness. When it came to expressing emotions the brothers were always awkward so they usually kept it to themselves. Carver didn't think it would help this time so he did the only thing he could, he punched Jakson mildly on the arm.

"Ow" Jakson rubbed his arm. "What in blazes was that for?"

"For being nauseatingly nice to everyone we meet"

Jakson retaliated with his own punch to Carver's arm but it was not nearly as effective as Carver only gave a laugh. "One of us has to be the nice one and it just so happens to be me." Carver grinned before doing another light punch, making his brother lose his balance. Jakson fell on his ass and stared up at his brother in disbelief before caving and letting loose a howl of laughter which Carver joined in. "We're horrible brothers"

"I agree" Carver said once his laughter subsided. He offered a hand to Jakson and pulled him to his feet when he accepted it.


	5. Chat By the Fireplace

**Chapter 5**

The next few weeks had gone by more or less smoothly for the gang and they had earned almost half the gold they needed. Though the last week had been quiet, it wasn't now. Jakson had received a letter asking for his help with a group of mages because the unknown sender had heard of his previous work helping out a young mage take refuge with the Dalish. Jakson didn't like getting in between mages and templars, he liked it even less when people knew what he'd been up to, but he also knew if someone didn't help there would be innocent blood spilt. He thought that it would be just like helping the young mage but he was wrong and now he was regretting opening the letter.

A templar named Ser Thrask, who had been looking for the same mage Jakson helped, was the one asking for help now with the apostates that were being transferred from Starkhaven to Kirkwall. They had escaped and were taking refuge in a cave on the Wounded Coast. The templar had said if they didn't surrender that they would be considered blood mages and executed on sight once the other templars showed and it was clear the templar did not wish to kill them. Jakson knew that Ser Thrask had no chance of convincing the mages and did not wish for the situation to turn into a blood bath. He didn't think it would be easy to persuade the mages but the first one he came across didn't even bother to listen, instead he immediately used blood magic to summon the dead.

The only good thing about the current situation was that Anders was not there to witness what Jakson was about to do. Had he been there Justice might have possessed him and killed the templars. Jakson had finally come to the end of the cave with Carver, Fenris, Watson, and Varric on his heels. The blood mage who was leading the apostates attacked on sight even though one of them begged him not to. Once the leader was slain the woman ran up to Jakson with an accusing look.

"You're a mage! Why would you fight your own and do the templars bidding?"

"What? You thought he summoned the undead to serve me tea?" Jakson frowned and shook his head in exasperation "I don't have to be part of the Circle to know blood magic is wrong."

"That's what I told him, I told my love that if he used blood magic that's all anyone would see" she looked like she was about to cry. "Please sir, we aren't blood mages. All we want is our life and freedom, please help us. The others paid for their crimes"

"You can't exactly just walk out the front door."

"If you turn us in" her gaze was filled with cold fury that sent a shiver down Jakson's spine, "do not think the templars will over look another mage. All we ask is you kill the one templar outside so we may have the chance to escape."

"So we're killing templars now? What a great idea" Fenris bit out, sarcasm dripping from his lips as he sneered.

"Brother" Carver looked just as shaken by the woman's gaze. "These mages are dangerous, how do we even know they're not blood mages? They're not like you or Bethany."

Jakson really couldn't believe what he heard. Were these people mad? It wasn't just Thrask outside, a whole contingent of templars were on their way and if a templar was found dead they would never even be given the chance to defend themselves. They would all be hunted and killed on sight. Not only that but Carver had a point, how did they know they weren't blood mages? Jakson's head started hurting as he thought about it. "Is that it? Just a little murder… uh, no."

_Hope, can you sense any demons?_

**I do, but the veil is dangerously thin here so I cannot tell if any of the mages are corrupted. I am sorry I cannot be of more assistance to you.**

Jakson was worried another fight would break out but the woman just raised her arms in surrender before speaking "Then please, lay down your arms. I'm just trying to save our lives. We… will go back."

"I'll make sure the way is clear"

Jakson led his friends and the mages to the exit where they found more templars. The one in charge looked like he was out for blood and didn't care who he cut down. The mages were still hesitant to follow the templars back to the Circle and Jakson felt regret swell in his chest, but this situation wasn't black and white, it was shades of grey and sending them to the Circle was better than killing and fleeing their whole life. Luckily the templar, Ser Thrask, was able to convince them that he would protect them as best he could and if they were innocent they would live. Jakson was surprised that the woman, Grace, did not rat him out to the templars.

"Come on" Varric called as he started walking back to the city. "How about a round on me at the Hanged Man?"

"It's just past noon and you want to get drunk?" Jakson chuckled though he felt a bit hollow. He felt like a hypocrite.

"Who cares if it's noon? I think everyone deserves a drink. Mage and templar business always leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth."

"And the swill they serve is better? Mind you it's probably better than their mystery meat stew. No offense but I'll pass."

"I shall pass as well" Fenris stated.

"You guys are no fun. What about you, Junior?"

"Count me in. Wicked grace with Isabela afterwards?"

"Of course, can't play cards without Rivaini. You coming, Watson?" The Mabari gave a small huff before nudging Jakson's leg. He seemed intent at staying by his master's side as he could sense the mage's distress. "Fine, fine. Suit yourself but you still owe me two sovereigns from the last game."

Varric and Carver split from the others as soon as they reached the city. Fenris made an offer for Jakson to sit and talk a little back at his mansion, which he swiftly agreed to. Jakson had meant to get some one on one time with the elf, hoping to settle any lingering problems Fenris might still have with him. By the way the man acted the past week Jakson doubted it but you could never be too sure.

Fenris directed Jakson to the room up the stairs before leaving to retrieve some wine from the cellar. As Fenris entered the room he noticed Jakson sitting on the bench closest to the fireplace with Watson's head in his lap. He was staring up at the ceiling while scratching behind the Mabari's ears soothingly. Watson, for the most part, sat content. The mage looked back down once he detected Fenris.

"There's a gaping hole in your ceiling" Jakson glanced back up.

Fenris followed his gaze. A giant hole was just above the far wall lined with windows. Sunlight was streaming in making the room easily visible without the fire going. "So there is." He walked over to the windows, right under the hole as he glanced at the street below.

Jakson had not really paid close attention to the elf since the first night they had met. He had only really noted the green eyes, white hair, and the white lyrium tattoos. But as the elf stood there underneath the sun he thought the man's tan skin was a beautiful contrast to his snowy white hair. The tattoos that ran along the man's arm seemed to accentuate his muscles which were a sight on their own. Jakson had seen many elves but none were so… _fit_, though he seemed just as lanky as the elves he'd met. Jakson couldn't deny that Fenris was handsome and was actually quite civil when around the mage even though he had a clear distaste of magic.

Jakson realized he was staring and felt his face heat up. As attractive as Fenris was it was very doubtful anything more than friendship would bloom between the two of them. He supposed there was no actual harm in appreciating the view but thought it best to keep the ogling to a minimum for safety reasons. He shifted his gaze to the bottle in the elf's hand in an attempt to stop staring at the elf. "What do you have there?"

Fenris turned from the window and walked over to the bench opposite of Jakson "Agreggio Pavali. There are six bottles in the cellar. Danarius used to have me pour it for his guests. My appearance intimidated them, he said, which he enjoyed"

"I can't imagine why they'd be put off." Jakson smiled before he realized what he said. _Why must I always say what's on my mind?_ Jakson mentally slapped himself but relaxed as he heard the elf chuckle lightly.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Fenris took a swig and admired the bottle. Suddenly Jakson heard a crash and turned to see red liquid slither down the wall toward the broken glass underneath "It's good to know I can still take pleasure in the small things."

"You could have offered me a glass first, you know."

"There's more if you're really interested."

Jakson's face pulled into a large smile as he turned back to the elf. "Perish the thought. How else would you redecorate the walls?" He was rewarded with another chuckle from the elf. It actually felt a bit odd to hear someone laugh after he cracked a joke, not odd in a bad way though. Occasionally people would laugh at his jokes but more often than not others were exasperated by his bad puns or snarky comments. Varric appreciated most of his jokes but even the dwarf got fed up sometimes.

Fenris took a seat on the other bench as he calmed his laughter. "Tell me have you never wanted to return to Ferelden?"

"I grew up in Ferelden. It will always be my home" Watson gave a small nod in agreement.

"The Blight is over. You could rebuild what you lost. Do you truly not want to?"

"I have to admit, it's an attractive idea"

Fenris could see the wistful look in the mage's eye. He was almost jealous how Jakson had somewhere he could call home, somewhere he would gladly return to. "But not now?"

"There are… some memories that are still fresh in my mind from the Blight. I'm not sure it's wise to return with those thoughts still lingering."

"Like Bethany? I remember Carver mentioning her a few times. She was your sister, yes?"

"She's…" Jakson's hand wandered to the red and purple scarf wrapped around his arm, right below his shoulder. "Yes, she was my little sister, Carver's twin. She was with us and mother when we were fleeing Lothering. She… didn't make it to Kirkwall with us." Watson whined softly before licking his master's hand.

"I am sorry for your loss. What… was she like? Your sister?"

Jakson smiled sadly as he spoke "Sweetest thing you ever met with a smile that lit up any room. She used to pick flowers in the field everyday and give them to mother. She was also the peace keeper, kept me and Carver from doing stupid crap to each other when we were younger. She… possessed magical talent as well."

Fenris was surprised to hear the man laugh suddenly. "I had been poking fun at her for liking a boy which drove her mad and the next thing I knew my hair was singed. That's when we first found out she had magic. It was a complete accident and I got laughed at for weeks by the other boys in town, not that I didn't deserve it. She spent every day apologizing with tears in her eyes. I couldn't be mad with that face she gave me. Carver's always telling me I can't say no when people give me the puppy dog eyes."

Jakson wiped the laughter filled tears from his eyes and finally turned to look Fenris in the eyes. Fenris saw how the silver eyes turned sad once more. "When we were fleeing we came across Aveline and her husband, Wesley. They joined us as we fought through Darkspawn. An ogre came over a hill and charged. Most of us managed to jump out of the way but we left it an opening to Bethany and my mother. The last thing my sister did was pray to the Maker as she summoned fire to scorch the beast. It wasn't enough though. It grabbed her, crushed the life from her before tossing her aside like a rag doll." The scarf around his arm belonged to her and it was the only thing he had to remember her by.

"It was noble of her" Fenris found he had to say something, anything to ease the tension that had grown, "to sacrifice herself for her family. Not something often found in others."

The sad look suddenly turned a bit sour, something Fenris had never seen in the man's eyes before. "Yes, well, my mother clearly stated she doesn't want a hero." As quickly as the sour look came it disappeared only to be replaced with regret as the man turned his head away. "I can't blame her."

"Is she the only reason you have not yet returned to Ferelden?"

"I'm not exactly willing to have my family leave my sight and mother seems intent on living here, though not with Gamlen."

"Still, to have the option… must be gratifying."

"If you're looking to start a life, you could stay."

"I could see myself staying…" Jakson thought the elf was eyeing him intently, but not with disgust, and was starting to think he was imagining things. "for the right reasons. I should thank you again for helping me against the hunters. Had I known Anso would find me a man so capable, I might have asked him to look sooner."

_Is he… flirting? He either forgot I'm a mage or that Agreggio Pavali acts fast. _

**I have little knowledge in such matters but perhaps he just likes you.**

_Don't get my hopes up._

**If you recall I am a Spirit of Hope. It is my job to instill hope.**

Jakson turned a flirtatious smile at Fenris as he spoke "Maybe_ I_ should be thanking Anso."

"Maybe you should" Fenris smirked as he stood. "Perhaps I'll practice my flattery for your next visit? With any luck I'll become better at it."

"I'm sure Isabela wouldn't mind helping you" Jakson chuckled as he stood as well.

"No doubt."

As Jakson was about to leave he stopped "Watson!" Fenris turned to see the Mabari had taken it upon himself to lick the wine clean from the wall and floor. "You're going to cut your tongue! Again." Watson whined as he reluctantly left the mess alone and followed Jakson to the door. "Do I have to stop healing you for you to finally learn your lesson?" and the next thing Jakson and his dog were gone.

Fenris watched them leave Hightown from his window. _A strange man to be sure, _the elf thought.


	6. I Can Fix it For Free

**Chapter 6**

The first thought that came to Fenris was that Jakson was nothing but odd_._

Fenris had awoken at dawn to birds chirping, being paranoid while on the run never gave him the best sleeping habits. At first he had merely lain in bed staring at the tiny birds through the hole in his roof while they stared back. Once he had finally removed himself from bed he decided to check the house for any sign of intrusion should any hunters be daring enough to come for him. Deeming the house safe he sat in chair for only a few minutes before he heard a knock on the front door. He could tell it was still early because the sun had barely risen and there was no hustle and bustle from the market yet.

Fenris had no idea who would be up this early or who would be knocking at _his_ decrepit door. Both his curiosity and paranoia told him to see who was there. He grabbed his large sword and quietly stalked down the staircase to the door. He slowly opened the door to find a figure surrounded in an orange glow from the sunrise. Once his eyes adjusted he was surprised to see Jakson smiling at him. In one hand was a tool box and the other was holding a bundle of wooden planks against his shoulder. The elf only quirked an eyebrow at the man, too puzzled for words.

"Morning" Jakson's smile only seemed to stretch as he looked at Fenris.

"What… are you doing?"

"Well originally I was going to go gallivanting around the Wounded Coast this morning but everyone else has decided to sleep in. Isabela was quite… determined to _sleep_ in." Jakson's cheeks turned a light shade of red which amused the elf some.

"Let me rephrase that: What are you doing _here_? Wouldn't you rather sleep in as well?"

"With the knowledge of a colossal hole in your roof?" Jakson gave a mock horrified expression. "How could anyone sleep knowing their comrade could drown in their sleep?" Fenris quirked his brow again "Your bed is conveniently placed under that hole. What would happen if it rained?"

"I doubt I would sleep with rain pelting me." Fenris wasn't sure if he should be amused at the mage or annoyed.

"But you could still catch a cold and there is no one here but rats to care for you." Jakson lifted his tool box "So I have come to fix your roof" before Fenris could even think of a response he heard a muffled bark. He glanced down to see Watson carrying a basket, the smell of fresh bread wafted up from it. "Oh and Watson here decided he wasn't going to let me go anywhere without him so I made him carry breakfast. Hope you don't mind sandwiches for breakfast, it's the only thing I don't burn to a crisp."

Fenris eyed the dog for a moment, almost with disgust. He tried to keep the sneer from his voice but found the task challenging. "Yes, he does seem to follow you everywhere like a lost puppy. Trained well by his master." Fenris frowned as the man in front of him began laughing.

"Oh, I just let him do his own thing. Which is good since he's more like a vigilant guardian." At the perplex look the elf gave him Jakson decided to clarify "He saved my life once just as I saved his. He thinks I can't look after myself… which I suppose is partly true." The two men heard another muffled noise from the Mabari. Jakson looked down and sighed "Okay, okay, it's _mostly _true. Happy now?" Watson wagged his stump tail in response.

Fenris unconsciously stepped out of the way to allow Jakson in. Fenris was utterly dumbfounded, _why would he care?_ He couldn't comprehend as to why Jakson would fix his roof. Maybe he thought Fenris wouldn't fix it himself, which was true. Fixing anything or even cleaning the disaster that was his house only reminded him of his time as a slave. He was free and would do what he wanted which included letting his burrowed mansion fall to shambles.

He soon realized he'd been standing with the door open for a few minutes before quickly shutting it so no passerby noticed him. He entered his main room to only find Watson lying by the fire and the basket on the table. He heard the sound of a hammer meeting wood and glanced up to see the mage had somehow gotten on the roof along with the wood and tool box by himself.

"How did you get up there?"

Jakson popped his head through the hole. "I climbed?" he seemed confused by the question as though there wasn't another explanation.

"And your supplies?" the elf heard a thump as one end of a rope hit the floor "Ahh." Before he got another word in the smell of fresh bread assaulted his nose again and an audible growl came from his stomach.

A laugh came from the mage. "Help yourself to the sandwiches, I made plenty" and with that the constant sound of hammering rang through the room. Now that Fenris thought about it he couldn't remember eating anything the night before, just some wine which hardly constituted as a meal. He flipped the lid off and was surprised at the numerous sandwiches. His stomach gave another growl and he caved in, grabbing the one on top. It was a very simple sandwich with a slice of cheese, meat, and some lettuce but it was delicious none the less. Sometimes the simple things were the best.

The rest of the morning went by quietly, besides the blows of a hammer, as Fenris enjoyed the food before moving to the other room to run through some moves with his large blade, he had nothing else to do that day. Watson had taken it upon himself to venture about the mansion, occasionally stopping every time he entered the main hall to watch the elf swing his sword. After a few hours the hole was completely covered and Jakson had somehow climbed back down the side of the house and reentered through the front door. By the time he was done, Fenris had retired back to his room. Fenris noticed that Jakson's bright smile seemed to almost never leave his face. Jakson ventured over to his basket and pulled out a sandwich for himself, his smile turning into more of a smirk as he glanced at the elf.

"Wow. You carved your way through those fast." His silver eyes seemed to light up with laughter. "I guess that means it's safe to eat." Jakson seemed to eye his food intently before shrugging and taking a bite. A low hum of approval came from him as he slowly ate and savored the taste of fresh meat, bread and cheese.

"Where did you get the wood? I thought you were trying to save enough gold to join Bartrand's expedition."

"I am. I got the wood from a friend, he's a carpenter. He owed me a favor but his only payment was wood, so I told him that if I ever had a need for it I'd come knocking." His eyes lit with laughter again at the mere mention of his friend. "You should've seen the look on his face when I knocked on his door at dawn."

"I can imagine" Fenris couldn't help but smirk. The carpenter probably had the same look he did if not more stunned at the sight of Jakson. Fenris also couldn't help the smirk grow as he took in the mage's rumpled appearance. His light skin was covered in a sheen of sweat, his clothes almost soaked through. The front of his short black hair, which was normally spiked a tad up now stuck to his forehead.

Fenris stood from his chair by the fire and crossed the room toward the table as exercise had made him hungry again. He could see his hunger continued to amuse the mage who was leaning against the table next to him. Jakson was actually a little short for a human, Fenris became aware of the height difference immediately, and he was only an inch or two shorter than the human. He wasn't as bulky as most men he met either but that didn't make him overly thin and he wasn't lacking muscle either like the magisters in Tevinter. He wasn't some brute thug or pathetically weak man, he had the look of man who knew hard labor but his eyes held a look of intelligence. It seemed to suit his character.

"Have any plans?" Fenris was stirred from his thoughts and glanced up to meet silver eyes. "Because if you don't Carver and I could use your help clearing out slavers."

"Slavers?"

"Yes, apparently my favorite uncle lost our ancestral home in a card game… to slavers. We planned on sneaking in to find our grandparents' Will but I doubt we'll walk in unnoticed. I can only assume slavers do most of their work in dark basements."

"I shall join you."

"Good. Meet us in Varric's suite at noon" Jakson beamed as he bent down and picked up his tool box. He gave a sharp whistle and soon Watson bounded through the door to trot up to Jakson, licking at his hand. "I'll meet you there soon" he gave the elf a warm smile before turning to the exit.

"Wait, your forgetting your food."

"Keep it" Jakson gave a dismissive wave. "When I said I made plenty I meant it. Have a dozen more at home."

Jakson left without another word and headed back home in Lowtown with Watson chasing any bugs he passed. He soon became aware of a horrid stench and grabbed the collar of his shirt to sniff it. His nose crinkled in repulsion. _Ugh, I need a bath._

**You have already bathed today.**

_You can't smell me. I smell bad. Nobody likes it when you smell bad… Where have you been all day anyway? You've been surprisingly quiet today._

**I was listening.**

_Is that all you do? Eavesdrop on my conversations?_

**I paid little attention to what you spoke. I listened to the lyrium.**

_This obsession of yours isn't going to bite me in the ass is it?_

**It is no obsession. I cannot simply stop hearing the tune. Would you have rather I had "eavesdropped" on your conversation?**

_No, no. Stick to the singing lyrium._

The Spirit of Hope said nothing else as Jakson continued back to the house. When he finally arrived at his house he realized the other reason why he had decided to visit the elf, he had hoped to avoid the yelling. It was the first thing he heard once he reached the door. He took a deep breath before venturing inside. Which turned out to be a bad idea. As soon as he entered his uncle had turned around and glared at him.

"Where the bloody Hell have you been? And what are you doing with my tool box?"

"Leave him alone, Gamlen" his mother looked tired, her eyes surrounded in dark circles.

"He takes my stuff and disappears for hours and you want me to leave him alone?"

"Relax uncle, you can check your tools and find they're all in working condition. I was just fixing someone's roof." Gamlen grumbled before stalking off into the other room. "Is Carver here?"

"No darling, I believe he left for that tavern down the street. The Maker gave him enough sense to leave before all the shouting started." Leandra's nose wrinkled "Darling you reek, go take a bath before you leave the house" she pointed to the bath and pinched her nose.

"Yes, mother" Jakson smiled as he did what he was told. As soon as he deemed himself clean he practically fled the house again with Watson and headed straight for the Hanged Man. Carver was already there as his mother said. He found his brother with his face flushed red and Isabela cackling next to him. The raider noticed him immediately and beckoned him over to the table.

"Hello sweet thing" she winked. "I hope I didn't scare you away this morning."

"How could your… _snoring_ scare anyone away?" Carver's face became a brighter red. "I assume my brother was unfortunate enough to hear it as well?"

"Oh no, I just decided to give him all the juicy details. So what have you been up to this morning? Do any… _snoring_ yourself?" a mischievous smile tugged on the pirate's lips, brown eyes glinting with curiosity.

"Nothing so fun, just fixing Fenris' roof."

"_Ohh_, why didn't you invite me? I would _fix_ his roof any day."

"I didn't invite you because I meant literally fixing his roof."

"Can't a girl dream?" she gave an over dramatic sigh as she leaned her cheek into the palm of her hand. "So are we waiting for anyone else or should we just grab Varric and go?"

"Actually, Fenris should be here soon."

Carver groaned "I don't know why you insist on him joining us everywhere we go. He hates you!"

"You're just upset because he doesn't like your Mabari tattoo. I told you not to make it bark… that's just weird."

"That elf takes everything the wrong way, I was just trying to start a conversation and then he scowls at me."

"Something you two have in common, scowling, mainly at me… or Anders."

"I'm surprised you didn't invite the delicate mage flower."

"He was overloaded with patients last night so I thought he could use the rest." It wasn't long before Fenris arrived and the small band grabbed Varric and headed to Darktown to find the entrance to the Amell estate.


	7. Have You Seen a Missing Mage?

**Chapter 7**

Fenris was glad that Jakson had decided to fix his roof because that same night it rained, harsh water pelting the roof and windows. He was also glad that the man knew how to fix it properly otherwise it would have started leaking over his bed. He sat on an old dusty chair by the blazing hearth as he stared out the window as rain continued to pelt the glass.

Fenris hadn't really known the man that long and was grudgingly starting to like him regardless of being a _mage_. Most of the man's jokes could make anyone laugh including the ever serious Aveline and his smile seemed contagious as everyone would smile in only a few minutes upon entering the same room as the man. Jakson also knew when jokes were best left unspoken and a more diplomatic route should be taken but he always threw in a pun here and there. The one thing that confused him about the mage was his view on magic, or lack thereof as he had never voiced his opinion when the subject of mages and templars came up. Any time the discussion had become heated was the only time the man jumped in but it was only to change the subject.

The elf could still remember the last attempt to diffuse the situation between him and the _abomination_.

"_Slaves do not attract demons that try to possess them."_

"_Which clearly justifies making mages Tranquil? What a perfect solution!"_

"_You know instead of only ever having conversations where you try ripping each other apart why don't you try and talk about things you have in common?" Jakson had stopped to face the bickering pair._

_Both men turned to snarl at him "We have nothing in common." _

"_Really? I can list several if you like."_

"_Please don't" Varric looked like he was about to jump out of the way of an explosion soon. It was clear he didn't see the conversation ending well._

_Jakson started counting on his fingers as he described any and all similarities regardless of how ridiculous they were "You both hate blood magic , demons, and oppression. Both of you glow this pretty blue when you're mad, mind you it's different reasons as to why, but still you glow blue."_

"_Hawke" Varric looked exasperated. "If you keep going you'll only end up shooting yourself in the foot."_

"_None sense, I don't have anything to shoot myself with. Oh! Both of your names only have six letters, your names end with the letter s, your names share the letters n, r, e, and s. Let's see" Jakson started scratching the small patch of hair under his lip as he tried to think of more comparisons. "Oh and both your homes smell like something crawled inside to die."_

Fenris shook his head as he turned from the window. Jakson was right, the mansion did smell like something died. But that just meant looters were unlikely to come knocking on his door. The smell however did not drive away certain_ birds_ as Fenris had another knock on his door the following afternoon. Thinking it was Jakson again he opened the door only to find the younger Hawke panting.

"Where is he?" Carver was frowning as his blue eyes darted behind Fenris and into the house.

"Who?"

"You know who! Where's my brother?"

"I haven't seen him today" Fenris snarled at the younger man. He had no desire to be snapped at by the young man. "Last I saw him he was with you." The young man groaned as he rubbed his face in agitation. "What's going on?"

"Jakson… we had a stupid fight last night and he left the house. I wasn't worried because it's nothing new, but he always crawls back home in the middle of the night. I woke up this morning and he hadn't come back. I still wasn't worried until I found out that nobody's seen him all day. Aveline has guards all over but none have seen him. Everyone's out looking" Carver didn't take a breath until he was done.

"Can't Watson sniff him out?"

"He's gone too. He was home when I went to sleep but gone in the morning. The only good news is mother doesn't know they're missing, she'd kill me otherwise… _please_ I need your help." Fenris had never seen such a desperate look on the proud man's face. His missing brother was clearly distressing him.

Fenris felt as though he had no other choice. He still owed Jakson for his help and even if he didn't he did not think he could turn a blind eye. Fenris followed the other warrior swiftly until they came across the other companions. The small gang spent hours searching all of Kirkwall, from the dark corners alleys of Darktown to the Chantry in Hightown. They checked all of the man's usual hangouts, asked people left and right if they'd seen him, but there was no sign of Jakson anywhere. Having no luck within the city, the companions stretched their search to the Wounded Coast and even Sundermount but once again there was no sign of Jakson.

No one believed he could just disappear without a trace but not a soul had seen the mage or his faithful hound. It was just past sundown when the group stumbled into the Hanged Man tired and aching and hopeless. How an entire city could fail to see one man was incomprehensible.

Merrill slumped into her chair, a fretful look on her face. "Oh, he has to be somewhere."

Varric calmly patted her shoulder. "Daisy, we've looked everywhere."

"Well… we didn't try the Gallows and guards aren't stationed there."

"Kitten, Hawke's a mage." Isabela gave her a sad look. "The last place he'd be by himself is the Gallows. That place just screams bad."

"It does? I've never heard the Gallows scream let alone talk before. Though I suppose that explains the weeping statues, I don't much care for screaming either."

"Not what I meant, Kitten."

"What if he is there?" Carver jumped from his chair. "What if templars found him?"

"Then there's nothing we can do" Fenris growled.

"So you're just going to give up on him?" Anders pointed an accusing finger at him. "It's because he's a mage isn't it? It doesn't matter that he helped you or that he shows you kindness all because he's a mage! You'd sooner let him rot in some hole!"

"If that was the case _mage_ I would not have been on this hunt to begin with."

"Oi! Aveline!" a guardswoman ran into the tavern. She was short of breath and leaning forward, hands on knees as she panted. Everyone turned eyes toward her as she spoke. "Somebody says they seen Serah Hawke up in Hightown not too long ago, near the Blooming Rose."

"Doesn't that cross smuggler work around there?" Merrill piped up. When Merril spoke both Aveline and Carver bolted out the door before anyone could bat an eyelash, concern and fear written on their faces. Once the group realized the two had left they jumped from the seats and followed suit. They ran to the brothel without stopping and once there they scouted around. It was almost pitch black out and still they found no trace of Jakson. When they asked the workers they claimed he had left after talking to one of the clients not long ago, something about a misplaced shawl but that was the least of their concerns.

They split up, Varric and Merril, Isabella and Anders, Aveline and Carver, and Fenris by himself. Convinced the man couldn't have gotten far they split into opposite directions making sure all ground was covered. Fenris had descended down an alley way and caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He turned and glowed a faint blue as his tattoos became active. When the dark shape came closer into the light he found out it was Watson barreling toward him. The hound had a cloth wrapped loosely around his neck and chewed rope around his legs with blood matting his fur all over. Worried, Fenris bent down to get a better look at the hound. He didn't see anything serious but it was too hard to tell since the dog would not stay in place. He barked frantically before charging off the way he came with the elf close at his heels…

_Well that could've gone better._ Jakson felt a cold stone floor press against his cheek and the taste of warm blood dripping from his mouth. _Note to self: stay away from smugglers._

**Do you wish me to remember that for you next time?**

_Assuming I live? Yeah, that sounds great._

He tugged at his arms and hissed lightly as rope dug into his wrists painfully, the slightest movements only tightening the knot. His wrists and elbows were tied together behind his back and a blindfold covered his eyes. His body ached from the bruises littered across his body. Athenril's thugs had spared no expense dragging him here and seemed to get a kick out roughing him up. Another tug on the rope and he stopped. There was no way out of that knot unless someone took a knife to it and his hosts were kind enough to search him until they found a blade tucked in his boot and took it away. Not that Jakson had the scary flexibility to reach the blade in his current position to make use of it anyway.

_Smugglers are the worst hosts I've ever met. And it takes an all time low to be worse than Uncle, he at least feeds me…sort of. _

**Is now really an appropriate time to jest?**

He gave a small bitter laugh. Of course he would joke in this kind of situation, there wasn't much else to do. Except hope really but he said nothing to the spirit. He didn't think answering her question would help his current situation. So he laid there and hoped some miracle would happen. He hoped for a lot of things even though the chance of something happening was low. He wasn't an optimist where they believe everything would work out in the end. Him? He _hoped_ it would work out. He hoped to wake up in Lothering. He hoped that his sister wasn't really dead. He hoped his family could live together in peace. He hoped at the moment that someone would come swooping in to save him.

_Seeing the look of terror on those bastards' faces if Fenris charged through the door, glowing, would be priceless._ He gave another small laugh. _Fenris has better things to do than rescue the thing he hates. What good is magic? It can't even get me out of this damn knot._

**You know your magic is not useless, Jakson. I also believe Fenris would not hesitate to rescue you.**

_What gave you that impression?_

**He likes you.**

Jakson gave a disbelieving bark of laughter. At most the scary elf tolerated him. Like him? A mage? That was just preposterous. Jakson's laugh stopped though as he heard someone speak. "And what exactly is so funny?"

Jakson froze as he heard several footsteps enter the room. Being blind hadn't affected him until now. Now he started breathing heavier and he felt his body tremble. It was one thing to be blind and bound by yourself, but with other people in the room… it scared the shit out of him. He was useless to defend himself in his state and so far no hope of getting out. He couldn't see their faces, couldn't decipher their intent… well that wasn't entirely true. He knew he pissed off Athenril when he gave the young boy and his sisters _her_ stolen goods. He knew that she wanted payment, he just didn't know what she was going to collect.

His panic grew, his heart speeding up, stomach churning painfully and he tried to tug on the ropes again but to no avail. He _really hoped_ the room was dark enough to hide his shaking, the last thing he needed to do was encourage the woman, let her know how she was affecting him. She didn't need the ammunition.

A swift kick caught him in the chest and he heard as well as felt ribs cracking. He had seen plenty of broken bones but the sound they made when they snapped always made him flinch. Another kick was given and all the air in his lungs escaped. He started coughing as he tried to breathe and he felt more warm blood flow from his mouth and down his chin. "I asked you a question" the woman spat on his face. "Damn Dog Lords are all the same, stubborn and proud. Look where your pride has gotten you. If you had just stuck to the deal instead of being a soft hearted bastard you wouldn't be here."

"You're telling me that if I did what you wanted you wouldn't have invited me to your house for tea and cookies?" He was rewarded with another kick to his stomach. "Am I really such horrid company, Athenril?"Jakson grunted as someone grabbed the back of his head and slammed it down on the ground. His head was killing him and despite the fact he couldn't see it felt as though the room was spinning.

"Joke all you want Hawke, it's not going to save you" the elven woman spoke calmly as she put a knife near his ear. She ran the cool metal tip down and gently across his throat before pulling it back up.

"Oh? And here I thought I could make you laugh so hard that you'd forget everything and let me go."

"Forget? I have excellent memory, Hawke. Remember that little threat I made, you know the one with your brother? Well when I'm done with you I'll pay him a visit and then I'll find your mother."

Jakson couldn't stop the growl that left his mouth. "And what will that accomplish?"

"Oh, did I touch a sore spot? Good. You lost me a lot of coin, Hawke" he heard the elf walk away as another set of heavy footsteps moved closer. "And you are going to pay it back, with interest." The heavy footsteps stopped next to him and a large hand grabbed him and turned him on his back. His feet were then kicked apart as another foot pushed on his stomach. "My boys here haven't been paid yet and they've been so good I thought they deserved a little fun, so why not kill two birds with one stone. What is it the Chantry always says? Oh yes, magic is meant to serve man, not rule over him. Well you're going to be a good little mage and serve my boys."

Jakson flinched as a darker, more sinister voice popped in his head. A voice he thought he had long since buried._"Why don't you be good little mage and serve my men?"_

_No, no this is not happening. This is not going to happen again. _Jakson squirmed against the knots, no longer caring about the discomfort it brought. Nor did he care if the smugglers saw his fear. He wanted out and he wanted out now.

**Calm yourself. Do not think of your past.**

Jakson felt hands slid his shirt up, the large calloused hands fervently touching his now bare sides. A shiver of fear raced down his spine as he felt buried memories try to take over. He tried to squirm away but one hand gripped his hip in a bruising hold. The other hand slid down his taut stomach until it reached his breeches. The free hand tugged the laces loose and started to pull them down slowly.

_No!_

**Do not succumb. Resist.**

Hope's words went unheard though as Jakson could no longer keep the memories at bay.

_Cold metal hands clasped around his throat, his back burning from the pain of freshly bleeding wounds digging into the dirty floor. His arms were bound and his sight was hindered. He was lifted by the throat off the ground only to be slammed back onto the dirt covered floor. The gashes on his back screamed with pain at the impact. He could feel the dirt start to get beneath the skin and into his veins. _

_The blindfold slipped from his eyes but still he could not make out any face. The men that easily towered over him wore metal helmets, he could see nothing but their eyes through the tiny slits. He turned his head away and clenched his eyes shut, too scared by the evil glint in those eyes. The closest knelt down and grabbed his chin in a bruising grip yanking it to face him. Jakson did not want to look in those demonic yellow eyes but he could not escape the man's grip._

"_Look at me you filthy mage. Tell me what good your magic is now" the tin man shook him violently. "I said tell me what good your magic is!"_

"_None" he whimpered, barely above a whisper._

"_That's right. Now be a good mage and don't make a sound" a hand reached down for the laces of his breeches._


	8. Kidnappings Lead to Odd Conversations

**Chapter 8**

The large man looming above Jakson chuckled as his breeches started to slide down. All of a sudden the mage heard a door crash open followed by two feral growls. He felt the man above him falter, startled by the sound. Jakson took a chance and pulled back a foot before kicking the man in the face. He heard a cracking sound as the man fell backwards, cursing and screaming. He heard footsteps running past him toward the door and put his other foot out randomly tripping a smuggler or two. He rolled over and crawled on his stomach as he heard screams and shouts from the smugglers. He kept worming his way around until he found a wall and put his back to it. He was still uselessly tied and he didn't even know what was going on.

He heard more growling, maybe hounds or something, it was hard to tell from all the screaming. _Maybe Dog Lord's right, hounds to the rescue… I hope._ He heard metal meet metal and thought he saw a faint blue glow through his blindfold but he couldn't be sure. While the fighting continued Jakson tried to rub the blindfold against the wall, hoping to dislodge it but the thing was knotted to tight.

He didn't know how long the fighting lasted but to him it felt like hours. Once the screams died he heard light feet racing toward him, he panicked and tried to back away but found he had trapped himself in a corner. A spiked metal gauntlet grabbed him and turned him around. He twisted and turned until he heard a low growl of frustration from behind and a bark somewhere else in the room.

**Do not fight him. He is here to help.**

"Quit moving, Hawke. If you squirm I'm likely to cut your arm instead of the ropes."

"F-Fenris?" Jakson choked out as he forced himself to calm down.

"Yes." He felt a small cool blade against his wrist and then the tight pain was gone, the pain at his elbows vanished as well as the ropes fell away. He yanked his arms away and tossed the blindfold aside. He blinked several times as his eyes tried to adjust to light. He leaned back against the wall, rubbing his sore wrists as he looked up to the elf.

Fenris was kneeling next to him and examining the mage carefully. He was surprised to see the man's face stained with tears, silver eyes still wide with fear, and his breathing was ragged. His whole body was shaking from fear it seemed. Various bruises and dried blood were scattered across the man's bare chest, face and arms. A look of disgust and anger plastered on his face as he saw the man's breeches hanging low on his hips and the beginning of a bruise form that resembled that of a hand. Jakson noticed the elf's gaze and quickly pulled his shirt down to hide the mark.

Fenris gave a low growl as he spoke "What did they do t-" His question, however, was cut off as Watson bounded forward and started licking his master's face in earnest, his short tail wagging in relief.

"Down boy. It's hard to breathe as it is." Watson slowly climbed off him and Jakson was horrified by the large amount of blood covering the Mabari. Hands started roam the hound's fur in an attempt to find any wounds.

"Most of it's not his." Fenris patted the dog on the head. He tried to give the mage a reassuring look. "Almost tripped over several dead smugglers on the way here. Your hound is most impressive."

Jakson began removing the chewed remnants of cloth and rope from Watson once he was satisfied the hound was okay. The elf gave a small growl as he turned back to Jakson as he tried to repeat his question but stopped again as he heard shouts. It sounded like Aveline and Carver. He was startled by a strong grip around his wrist bringing his attention back to the mage. "Don't breathe a word to him." Jakson's voice was firm and hard, but his silver eyes were fearful and pleading.

"Those smugglers almo-" a small tug on his arm and he stopped speaking.

"Not. A. Word." Jakson quickly removed his hand and pulled his breeches up the few inches they had fallen before tying his laces. He took deep even breaths as he tried to stand, using the wall for leverage. Fenris swiftly stood and offered a hand to Jakson. The mage accepted and was pulled to his feet in one swift motion but he kept a hand on the wall to keep his balance. The two heard footsteps drawing near and saw Aveline and Carver burst into the room, weapons drawn. After seeing his brother, Carver sheathed his sword and ran toward the staggering man.

"What happened?"

"Oh, you know, the usual."

"Damnit, Jakson."

"What do you want me to say? They beat the crap out of me, isn't it obvious?"

"You've been missing all day!"

"Missing? What in blazes gave you that idea?" Jakson walked past his brother to search for his pack, looking through and behind the various crates that sat in the room. He wasn't just looking for his pack he was trying to keep Carver from seeing his tear stained face. He didn't want to worry his brother, nothing had happened thanks to Watson and Fenris' timely rescue. He was still shaken but there was no need for Carver to know what happened.

"You never came home last night!"

His voice was neutral as he spoke, trying to be careful he didn't give any emotions away. He was glad he got himself to stop shaking. "I came back when I was sure you all were passed out sleeping. I woke early and left again before anyone else got up because I didn't want to start another argument."

"So where have you been?" Aveline asked with irritation lacing her voice. Both Aveline and Carver were starting to get angry at Jakson's nonchalance attitude toward the situation. They had been sick with worry and the man was acting as though nothing was wrong. Fenris for his part just stood in silence.

"The Gallows."

"Maker" Carver groaned. "Are you really that stupid? Why would you go there? You're an apostate!"

"To get you something." Jakson yanked his bag from behind a stack of crates. He started rummaging through it until he pulled out some letters and handed them to his brother. "These are for you."

"You went to the Gallows, filled with templars, for letters?" Jakson nodded. Carver took one look at the letters before snapping his head up, still very irritated. "These are from father. You sure they're not meant for you? I'm sure a mage good make more use of them." Jakson sighed as took the letters and folded it over before handing it back, pointing to a particular line. Carver looked where the finger pointed and began to read aloud "For your service that cannot be admitted, I ask that you accept this trinket and know that I shall respect your name. Thank you, conscience of the Order, Ser Maurevan… Carver?"

"He's the templar who helped father escape. It seemes he believed the man was worth honoring."

"Have we met a templar that isn't a colossal prick?"

"The Knight-Captain is a rather nice fellow. Ser Thrask doesn't seem half bad either."

"Why are you giving me this?"

"Don't get all suspicious, I didn't put a dead rat in your pillow if that's what you're thinking."

"You've done it before."

"For the last time it was father." Jakson rubbed his eyes tiredly. It had been a really long day. "It's… an apology, for last night. I know I joke a lot but I didn't mean to make light of your feelings. I just… being peacekeeper was always Bethany's job. I hate how all we do is fight. I don't make jokes to belittle you, it's just… Maker I don't know. Just know I'm sorry."

Carver looked down at the letters with guilty eyes. He turned his blue gaze back to Jakson as he spoke "You didn't do anything wrong. It was my fault… I didn't mean to blame you for Bethany… It's not your fault she's dead. As for the letters… I don't know what to say but thank you."

Jakson smiled and caught his brother by surprise as he hugged him. He felt his brother squeeze him back and had to bite his cheek from groaning in pain. "So you do have a heart!" Jakson breathed. Apparently Carver could hear the pain in his voice and quickly pushed him away to look him over. Jakson however just wanted to leave and headed for the door. "Can we leave now? It smells like dead smugglers in here."

"Wait, what about your wounds?" Aveline stopped him before he could leave. She kept an arm out in front of him and gave him a stern look.

"Is it really that bad?" Jakson reached up for his face and flinched as he touched a bruise. He gave a small shrug. "Nothing's broken… wait, I actually maybe my ribs are. Probably my nose too" Jakson's hand hovered over his chest and let his healing magic wash over him before healing his nose. Healing broken bones took quite a bit of energy and Jakson really wanted to leave so once satisfied there wasn't even a crack he tried to go back out the door but Aveline wouldn't let him. "The bruises should go away in a week."

"You can easily heal them now but you're going to leave them there? Mother will have a fit if she sees you like that and she'll blame me, brother."

"I'll just tell her I fell down a flight of stairs again." Carver gave a growl and Jakson threw his arms up "Alright, I get it. Mage, heal thyself. On it."

**Do you desire my aid? You have sustained many injuries and I am not sure you have the energy to heal all of it.**

_That would be appreciated, yes._

Jakson leaned against a wall as he concentrated on his magic. He felt Hope push a little energy from the Fade into him. A faint blue glow emanated around him as healing magic washed over him. The groups watched as the bruises began to fade away and the small cuts begin to close. Jakson focused harder on the bruise on his hip to make sure no sign of it would be left. He didn't to risk anyone seeing it. He really didn't have enough energy to keep healing himself so he was glad when the spirit kept pumping a steady stream of her own healing into him. Once satisfied, Jakson pushed back off the wall and put light pressure on the places bruises had been prior. The wound was healed but the area was still a little tender, he would have to be careful the rest of the night.

Jakson turned back to Aveline and Carver. They studied him up and down with scrutinizing gazes until they felt satisfied that he was alright. The friends left in search of the others to let them know Jakson was safe. Jakson walked in the back doing his best to keep up but using so much magic was exhausting. Fenris noticed his slower pace and adjusted his walk to stay next to the mage. Occasionally the elf would shoot a questioning or worried glance his way. When he was sure Carver and Aveline were far enough ahead he whispered to the elf "Thank you. For not saying anything… and saving my life of course."

Fenris looked at the man out of the corner of his eye, studying him. "You are welcome, but you should be thanking your hound. A most impressive tracker."

"Don't I know it. Twice know he's saved me" the man smiled fondly at his dog before scratching him behind the ears.

"May I ask why you were reluctant to heal yourself?"

"I haven't evaded the templars all this time by waving magic around all willy-nilly. Also, as I said earlier, the bruises would have been gone in a week. The only thing that needed immediate attention was my ribs."

"Hawke!" Jakson was jumped by a crying Merrill. He bit his bottom lip to hold back a groan as the small elf gripped him tightly around the waist. Everything was still a bit tender but there was no need to worry his companions. He patted the woman on the head gently as he saw the others approach. Merrill buried her face in his chest trying to hold back a sob. "We were so worried."

"Maker's breathe, Hawke. What happened to you?" Varric couldn't help but be curious.

"Smugglers aren't very friendly. They ruined my armor. Do you know how hard it is to find robes that don't resemble dresses?"

"You know sweet thing, there are advantages to such robes. No pants" Isabela waggled an eyebrow.

"I happen to like pants, you don't trip over them while walking." After Merril finally calmed down and unleashed Jakson, Varric offered a round at the Hanged Man and some Wicked Grace. Everyone gladly accepted as they were all exhausted and could use a drink as well as a place to sit.

The group sat at a large round table once they reached the tavern. Jakson sat next to Carver and Isabela while Watson sat at his feet under the table. Varric asked what everyone wanted and when everyone at the table heard "Water" they seemed to pause and turn to Jakson, everyone but Carver anyway.

"We're at a tavern and you want water?" Varric chuckled. "You know the stuff here is mostly swill but after today's excitement? Don't tell me you're a lightweight, Hawke."

Jakson simply stated "Alcohol inhibits brain function."

"I'm sensing a potential story"

"More like a dumb moment, it has nothing on your epic tales."

"Come on, don't leave us hanging" Isabela bumped his arm. "Why won't you have a drink, sweet thing?"

"You ever hear about dumb teens drinking too much and decide to sneak off into someone's farm?"

"And they try tipping cows over?"

"Yep, I was one of those teens. Carver and I had slipped from the house one night and we met up with some boys from the village. We got drunk and one of our friends bet me a silver that I couldn't tip a cow over… well I couldn't. I pushed on one side and the cow wouldn't budge. I thought the ground was tilted, probably because I was drunk, so I thought moving around to the other side would help. The cow was wide awake by then and kicked me as I went around behind it. Got me right in the gut she did. Father said the cow a broke a rib."

Everyone started laughing. "Are you serious?" Anders chuckled "Maybe we should get you drunk and see what happens this time."

"Oh no, I don't think so. Someone has to be the designated walker. I'll stick to water. Hey Varric, they still selling peaches? Much better than their mystery stew."

"Yeah, don't worry, Hawke. Water and peaches coming right up." Varric stood from his chair and wandered over to the bar while Isabela pulled out a deck of cards and started shuffling.

Carver pulled out a letter and handed it to Jakson. "Speaking of peaches this letter came for you." Jakson took the letter and read the first line before looking at his brother in confusion.

"Last time I checked 'Dear Carver' meant the letter was for you."

"Keep reading, it'll make sense." Jakson continued reading and groaned before tossing the letter in the center of the table without thinking and slammed his face on the table. Isabela snatched the letter from the table and read it.

"What's wrong, sweet thing? The girl's just being friendly. Peaches seems like quite the girl."

Merrill tilted her head as she spoke "I thought peaches were a fruit not a girl."

"Kitten, some people name their kids strange names, such as Peaches."

"Oh."

Anders snatched the letter from Isabela and read it himself. He couldn't keep the grin from his face as he looked back to Jakson, who had tilted his head up to let his chin rest against the wood. "This girl is clearly into you and you didn't go for it?"

"There are two reasons why nothing ever happened between us. One: she was a _stalker._"

"Oh please, she just seems friendly. Overly friendly but I don't see why that would stop you. Especially if what she's saying about looking good _out _of dresses is true."

"Anders, I know the difference between friendly and stalker. Peaches. Was. A. Stalker."

"How so?"

Carver started chuckling before he decided to speak for his brother. "There was a festival in Lothering. Jakson drank too much water and headed off to find a bush in the woods. Peaches was 'worried' for his safety and headed after him because it was dark and he was all alone. Not long after we heard the most undignified scream, apparently it came from Jakson."

"Because me screaming is completely relevant, thank you brother." Jakson muttered sarcastically.

"Not my fault you scream like a girl."

"She caught me off guard!"

"How I would have loved to be in her shoes" Isabela purred as she leaned into Jakson. "I can only imagine how large your staff is."

"It's not the size of the staff that matters, Iz, but the magic within." Jakson gave a cheeky grin.

"Wait" Merril interrupted. "What was the second reason you didn't like her?"

"She was a woman." The blunt way he said that made everyone pause except for Carver and Aveline. After a second the rest of the group turned a quizzical and surprised gaze to Jakson while Isabela just pouted.

Isabela looked disappointed when she spoke. "You mean my advances haven't worked in the slightest?"

"Afraid not Iz."

"I don't understand." Merrill spoke once more.

"It's simple Daisy" Varric patted her on the shoulder as he set a tray of drinks down and gave Jakson a bowl of sliced peaches. He had just caught the last bit of the conversation. "Hawke doesn't like women."

"But I'm a woman. I thought we were friends."

"No, no Daisy." Varric tried to appease her as he saw a sad look begin to grow in her eyes. "I meant he prefers men."

"Oh! We're talking about something dirty aren't we?" she gave a giggle as she looked at Jakson "Oh! I get it."

"So" Isabela leaned closer, hugging his arm. "If you prefer men, how about you tell us which one of these men tickles your fancy more? Luxurious chest hair, rebel mage, or brooding elf?" Said men began choking on their ale.

"No need to make them nervous is there, Isabela?" Jakson shook his head in amusement as he lifted it off the table.

"But we want to know" Merril chirped.

"And what if I can't decide? They all have their… _advantages_" Varric started chuckling as Anders and Fenris visibly blushed and tried to hide behind their mugs but it was clear to most of the table they seemed to enjoy the attention he was giving them.

**You have already decided.**

_Stop trying to be a mind reader._

**I am not trying anything. I have seen your dreams and I can hear your thoughts while our connection is up.**

_Sometimes I really wish you'd cut our connection more often. Surely my thoughts are not that interesting to you?_

**They are quite interesting as well as confusing. I do not understand why you mortals deny these feelings you have. It is clear to me who you would not mind having se-**

_Please don't finish that sentence because I just can't imagine any spirit saying the word "sex."_

…

_Thank you._

**Sex.**

_Damn it, Hope!_

Jakson turned his attention back to his friends as Isabela spoke. "Hawke, you deviant" Isabela wagged a finger. "You're horrible."

"Hey." He threw his hands up defensively "I can't get anywhere hiding in the closet." **You are hiding. **"Now how about that card game?"


	9. Underground Secrets Revealed

**Chapter 9**

**It is time to awaken.** Jakson murmured something before tossing in his bed and buried his face in the pillow. **What is the saying? Rise and shine. Wake up sleepy head.**

_Persistent, aren't you? _Jakson rubbed sleep from his eyes as he tried to look out the dirt covered window. _What time is it?_

**I believe it is just past the sixth bell. You are usually awake by now. Remember, today is the day.**

_Right. __Adventure__ time_. Jakson couldn't help but be sarcastic toward Hope. Funding the expedition was okay but he felt no real urge to go traveling in the Deep Roads. They didn't sound very fun. He turned onto his back and gently banged the bunk above him. "Time to wake up, Carver. We've got the Deep Roads to probe." He heard a huff as the beds gave a creek. "Come on, Carver. Don't be a bum."

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" came a grumbled response.

"Just past the sixth bell." Jakson said cheerily. He knew how much it bothered Carver that he could be so cheery early in the morning.

"Seriously? Why do you get up so early? No one's awake besides you, Jakson. We're not even gathering for the expedition till the ninth bell."

"Yes, but if we leave now we might avoid a lecture from mother dearest." Jakson felt the rickety bed frame shake violently before his brother leapt from the bunk above him. He raced to the dresser and started to put his armor on. He turned to see Jakson still in bed, staring at him with a smug look.

"What? I want to leave. You're also buying breakfast. Now get out of bed." Carver grabbed his greatsword and left the house. Jakson chuckled as he got dressed and grabbed his gear. Before he could make it out the door something bumped into the back of his knee. Watson was carrying a bag filled with dog biscuits and his favorite chew toy in his jaws. Jakson knelt down and scratched him behind the ears.

"Sorry boy, but the Deep Roads is no place for a Mabari." Watson gave a small whine as he nudged his master. "I'll be fine, boy. The Deep Roads are filled with Darkspawn, not a templar in sight." The hound gave a huff. "Now don't be like that. I need you to keep an eye out for mother. Aveline will be by everyday to give you plenty of exercise." Jakson gave one last scratch before heading out the door.

Most of the morning was spent wandering Hightown until the brothers bumped into Varric. He seemed just as eager to leave if only because it meant they would finish the expedition sooner. By the eighth bell the boys had run into Fenris and Anders who were in the middle of another argument about magic.

"Can't you two just get along?" Jakson offered a smile, only to receive two sneers in response "No? Oh well."

"Must you bring the elf?" Anders spat.

"He has offered his help and in case you haven't noticed, Carver and Fenris are our only melee fighters."

"What about Aveline or Isabela? Aren't they coming?"

"Aveline can't take one week off let alone two. She has a lot of paperwork to do as the new Captain and Merrill caught a cold so Isabela said she was going to stay behind to take care of her. You know, I'm actually surprised you decided to come. I said you didn't have to come if you didn't want to."

"You always run straight into trouble, someone needs to be there to heal the healer."

"Always so thoughtful. But I'm sure everyone would appreciate this trip more if there wasn't any arguing. You can just... glare I suppose but no yelling." The two gave a nod as they took Jakson's advice and glared daggers at each other. Jakson wasn't trying to be literal but whatever got the arguing to stop. "Alrighty then, let's head out."

"You know something, Hawke? I think that..." Varric started to speak before cut short.

"He's not listening" Carver stated. When the dwarf turned around he could not even see the mage in the morning crowd. He had been right next to him so he couldn't have wandered far. Just as he was about to ask if anyone could see him Carver pointed to a nearby store where the mage's face was pressed against the window, his breath fogging up the glass. "I think he found another book" Carver groaned as Jakson jogged up to him and pulled his arm back to the glass display.

"Look!" Jakson beamed "Do you know what that is?"

"A book."

"It's_ The Axe and the Wand_ _book two_! I didn't even know they were making a second one!" Jakson pressed his face against the glass once more, looking at the book forlornly. "You think they'll still have a copy when we get back?"

"Why not buy the book now?" Fenris bit out "You have already paid Bartrand for the..."

Without even finishing his thought Jakson had disappeared inside. Carver turned to him with a frown "Thank you _so very_ much. Do you know just how distracting books are to him? He'll be reading that thing while we're walking through the Deep Roads and end up walking into a pit of lava!"

"Surely the man knows better?"

"No. No he doesn't. The last time he got a new book he walked right onto Barlin's land."

"So?"

"It was rigged with traps."

Jakson walked out of the store with a smile that spread from ear to ear. His step had a bounce to it as he walked up to them and as Carver predicted Jakson didn't notice a merchant's stall while he read the book in his hands. His hip slammed into the stall and knocked over several wares onto the ground. Jakson hastily apologized to the fuming merchant and scrambled to pick up all the wares. He apologized once more and beat a hasty retreat to his chuckling companions. At Carver's disgruntled expression Jakson put the book away in his bag and gave a sheepish grin.

The five companions left for the Merchant's Guild where they were greeted by a dwarven merchant, Bodahn, and his son, Sandal. The dwarves greeted them warmly and ushered them to Bartrand's meeting, where the greedy dwarf only rambled about getting rich. In the middle of his speech he turned to see someone walking up to him. He grumbled about the distraction but Jakson was not paying attention as he had pulled his book out while no one was looking and was engrossed in it until he was elbowed in the side by Carver.

"Ow" Jakson rubbed his side. "What was that for?"

"Isn't that your mother?" Anders motioned toward an old woman walking up to the group.

_Shit_.

**I do not see the problem**

_Of course you don't, she's not your over protective mother. _Jakson retorted to the voice in his head before his thoughts were interrupted.

"You have her eyes" Jakson turned a surprised look to Fenris as he said that but he and the others left the brothers alone with their mother.

Fenris eyed the family as they argued. Carver was determined to go on the expedition with or without his mother's approval. The woman had turned to her eldest begging him to not allow the boy to go. Jakson shook his head, claiming Carver was not a child anymore and could make his own decisions. Fenris was surprised to see a hateful stare from the woman toward her own son. She left without another word. While Carver was happy about Jakson's support, Jakson himself seemed deflated. He had noticed the hateful stare as well.

Once the woman was gone Bartrand ordered everyone to move out.

During the first few nights at camp in the Deep Roads, Carver and Jakson sparred, shared inside jokes, and reminisced about their life in Ferelden. When Varric first met the Hawke brothers he had imagined himself and Bartrand, always bickering at each other where only some days they were sufferable toward each other. Over the past few months the entire group noticed that the brothers started getting closer, their rivalry turning into friendship, a friendship Varric almost wished he had with his own brother. He didn't know what changed between them but he suspected that it was in most part due to Jakson. They still disagreed every now and again and got on the other's nerve occasionally but they'd stopped yelling. The companions were actually grateful for this because Carver started bitching less and they found he was actually quite a pleasant person.

It wasn't too long before their merry expedition was stopped by a cave in. Jakson, as usual, offered to clear the darkspawn in the smaller passages and find a way around. Just as they were about to leave Bodahn had rushed up to them, begging they find his boy as Sandal had wandered off. Thanks to Anders they were able to detect when Darkspawn were nearby and avoided any ambushes. Once they cleared another group they ran into a frozen Ogre.

"Enchantment!" Jakson turned to see Sandal, covered in blood yet not a scratch on him.

"The mighty warrior stands victorious!" Carver chuckled.

Jakson looked to all the dead Darkspawn before glancing back at Sandal. "I'd really like to know how you did all this"

"Boom!" Sandal shoved a small stone that was freezing to the touch into his hand.

"And how did you do that?" Jakson eyed the frozen Ogre with astonishment.

Sandal glanced at the frozen Ogre as well and simply said "Not enchantment." He left back toward camp after that.

"Smart boy" Varric studied the frozen Ogre closely. "It's like an ice sculpture."

"Hey Carver, you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I aim high, you aim low?"

Jakson gave a nod as Carver hefted a large, rounded warhammer the companions had come across. Carver stood to one side of the Ogre while Jakson stood on the other. Jakson gave a few mock swings with the mace end of his staff. Another brief nod and the Hawke brothers swung their weapons, the hammer bashing the Ogre's head into a crystalline mist and the staff connecting with the beast's leg. The companions watched as the leg broke in two and the frozen Ogre stumbled off the edge of the cliff. The brothers gave a short fist pump before turning their attention to the others.

"What?" the boys asked in unison.

"Just curious why you shattered a perfectly good ice sculpture. Bet we could have sold to the Wardens, it would have made a nice centerpiece for their dining hall."

"Sweet justice, Varric. For our baby sister." Jakson slung his arm around his brothers shoulder and motioned for the group to continue forward.

More Darkspawn fell as they continued through the cavern that almost seemed endless. They came across what seemed to be a grand entrance of some sort, a possible route around the collapse. Before another step was taken a roar from a dragon echoed through the chamber, sending a shiver down Jakson's back. They had fought a dragon only once before at the Bone Pit and it had proved to be a hassle, this one did not promise to be an easy fight.

From large cracks and crevices dragonlings started to pour through, charging at their new meal. Jakson and Anders threw ice crystals across the ground to impede the footed creatures' movements just as the dragon landed fifty feet away. Carver and Fenris stepped in to flank the beast and keep it from the others. Crossbow bolts fell from the air, cutting down a couple of the creatures but more only took the dead's place. They were soon forced back into the hall so they couldn't be surrounded yet the narrow hall only helped them some.

**If I might make an observation.**

_Not now, Hope._

**I only assumed you would like to know that the dragon is preparing to breath fire.**

_Shit!_

**I notice you say that a lot.**

_Gotta think, gotta think!_

Jakson rushed forward, a chant on his lips and magic emanating from his fingertips. He heard someone yell his name, most likely trying to stop him from nearing the enormous beast. He raced across the blood splattered floor, barely dodging a claw from a dragonling as he passed. He slid to a stop just shy of the dragon.

Smoke spilled from the beast's nostrils, its eyes filled with fury. As soon as it opened its jaws Jakson could see the flame start to bubble up from its throat. He lashed his hand out, ice flew from his hand and straight into the dragon's mouth. The ice clashed with the fire and the dragon jerked its head back and forth, trying to shake the sudden pain. While it was distracted a bolt sped past Jakson's ear, lodging itself in the creature's head. The body slowly crumpled to the floor.

"Hey! That one was mine." Jakson turned to the dwarf, a relieved smile on his lips.

"Sorry, Hawke, but it's a free for all. Can't win if I let you get all the kills."

"Quick thinking." Fenris remarked after the last baby dragon was slain.

"Thanks, Fenris. It's good to confirm I actually have a brain every now and again."

Anders looked horrified and irritated. "A brain? That was the most reckless thing I've ever seen, utterly stupid!"

"All I did was offer the dragon a popsicle. Is that really so bad, Anders?"

The mage was about to retort before he noticed a worried look on the other's face. Jakson sped past him, no care for what the man was going to say. Carver was bleeding profusely from his arm where the dragon had bitten him earlier. Jakson reached to remove his brother's bracer only for the arm to pull out of his grasp. Jakson frowned as he reached for the arm again only for it to move further from him.

"I'm fine!"

"Carver, you're bleeding! Now give me your arm!"

"No." Carver moved to hide his arm behind him. Carver proceeded to stumble for words as he gave the man a worried look. "You'll… you…"

Jakson sighed as his brother trailed off. "I've already seen the scars. Just because you hide them doesn't mean I don't think about them. Now please, give me your arm."

The brothers sat on a set of stairs as Jakson peeled away what was left of his brother's right bracer. Blood poured from the numerous holes the dragon's teeth had made. The mage hovered his hand over the deep wounds and a blue light began to encase it. The light soothed the pain and the wound slowly began to close, the blood erasing itself from the skin. When the light faded Jakson took the arm and noted that there was not even a scar from the teeth, but there was a burn along the man's arm. One he knew was too late to heal. No one questioned about the burn marks or Carver's strange reaction. Anders did however wonder about Jakson's healing.

"I knew you were skilled in healing magic, but to not leave a scar? I only know of a few mages that talented, most of them Senior Enchanters. Are you… a Spirit Healer?"

_Maker damn it, Anders!_

**Manners, Jakson.**

_Not now, Hope._

"Spirit Healer?" Fenris turned toward him, a scowl forming on his face.

_Shit…_


	10. Read a Book Before You Judge it

**Chapter 10**

Fenris sat on a broken slab of a pillar as he sharpened his greatsword, each stroke precise and with more force than was necessary. Every now and again he would glance out of the corner of his eye to glare at Jakson who was sitting quietly away from the group attempting to read his new book. The mage appeared to be upset and refused to talk to anyone, but why should Fenris care? The man had been lying since the first time they met, mages truly were all the same.

Fenris set his whetstone aside as he noticed Carver stomping towards him, a menacing look on the boy's face. He stopped just short of the elf before pointing an accusing finger toward Fenris "What the bloody Hell is wrong with you!?"

Fenris scoffed, he knew exactly what the warrior was going on about. "I spoke the truth, nothing else."

"Look at my brother! He looks like someone upset him... oh that's right, because you did!"

"He is an abomination, just like the other mage. You stand with the templars' decisions at every turn unless it should affect your brother. He will turn on you like every other mage and yet you defend him. He will use you to gain power."

"You know nothing about him!"

"What exactly else is it I need to know besides the fact he is possessed?" Fenris stood up and glared defiant forest green eyes at equally defiant blue ones. "What exactly will change my mind on what he is?"

Carver growled at the elf. He unstrapped his bracers and tossed them to the dirt. He waved his burnt arms in the other's face. The wounds looked as though they would have hurt a great deal when they were first received. They wound all the way around the man's forearms "Do you know how I got these? Jakson. He did this, but before you say anything listen!"

Fenris pressed his lips together to keep silent as he listened. They were children and Carver had done something incredibly stupid to his brother, humiliated him or something. It was a long time ago so no one really knew how the argument started or why. The boys just knew they were both being stupid at the time.

Jakson couldn't control his emotions and became angry and upset. The next thing the boys knew Carver's arms felt like they were melting off as he screamed in agony. Flames consumed his arms, spreading quickly. Carver's arms were on fire and all of a sudden he was freezing cold as he hit the pond they had been standing next to. Jakson had shoved him into the water to put the flames out, but Carver's arms still burned once he was dragged back out. Jakson ran home like the wind to get their mother who applied some healing salve on the wounds. Their father was away for work so by the time he arrived back home he could not heal the scars away, only soothe the remaining pain. That's the first time Jakson had used magic, that's how they learned that he was a mage.

"What's your point?" Fenris bit out.

"Jakson felt horrible. He spent weeks doing whatever I wanted. And every time he saw these he turned away in _shame_, because he did this. He would _curse_ magic everyday for months when he thought he was alone and _never_ has he used fire magic since then. You want to know why he jokes? It's because he thinks that if he can make light of something he won't get mad and end up frying someone. So before you make any bloody assumptions try to understand him first!" Carver left without another word forgetting his bracers that still lay in the dirt.

Jakson continued trying to read his book but found he couldn't as he saw Carver storm off out of the corner of his eye. He had read the same paragraph nine times now and he still didn't know what was going on. What made it even harder to concentrate besides the hole he seemed to have dug himself into was his brother's shouting. Even though he was perched a ways from the others he still heard every word. Jakson loved Carver, he really did but he wished that his brother would just leave things be. Jakson knew from day one that the likely hood of him and Fenris actually getting along was slim to none. How often did mage hating people befriend a mage? Only in fairy tales. Yet Jakson hoped that it would turn out differently. For a time it seemed like less a dream and more a reality when he got the elf to laugh or smile but now that was over and Carver wouldn't let it lie.

He pretended to read as a figure moved out of the edge of his vision. The figure stopped right in front of him, a growling noise of irritation emanating from it. He risked a glance up to see the elf staring down at him with arms crossed over his chest, a scowl etched on his face. Jakson had the distinct impression he was silently being judge by the elf and found it disquieting to say the least.

"Can I offer you a seat?" the mage cracked a strained smile. "There's plenty of room on my boulder if you wish, or you could sit on a different boulder. There's quite a selection of boulders you know. Big, small, round, jagged, nonmagical. I know it's so hard to choose but I personally prefer flat ones."

An irritated sigh escaped his companion as the elf sat down across from him. They sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes. Jakson could only guess the elf wanted a full explanation of what happened earlier… or maybe the warrior was trying to figure out the best way to kill him and wanted some input, Jakson wasn't entirely sure with the unreadable expression that now graced the other's face. Just as the silence began to feel like hours Fenris spoke "I… may have been too harsh… in my judgment."

"No, it was… fine."

"You're a horrible liar when you're upset. You may be an abom… I mean possessed but…"

"I'm not possessed." At Fenris' disbelieving look Jakson decided to clarify and just be honest. Lying was what got him in this mess wasn't it? Not that he lied to his friends, but half truths counted. Or Jakson thought they did. From Anders explanation earlier it did sound like a spirit was sharing his body but that wasn't the case at all and he hoped that Fenris would understand.

After his father passed away, Jakson had been forced to take up the mantle of responsibility, to watch vigilantly over his family. He tried his best to keep his family safe from bandits and keep food on the table but it was never easy. One year bandits had attacked Lothering and there were only a few healthy men who took arms up against the bandits including himself and his brother. Carver had been seriously injured, a blade run straight through him. He had lost a lot of blood and Jakson risked having someone witness his magic to help his brother, but even with his level of healing he wasn't sure he'd save Carver in time. All of a sudden an invigorating energy flowed through him and out his hands to wash over the wound. The wound closed and his brother was alive, weak but breathing and all the bandits were dead or fleeing.

For awhile Jakson didn't know where the power came from until he was visited by a spirit in the Fade as he slept. She claimed to be a Spirit of Hope who had decided to offer her aid to a kind man, that man being Jakson. Hope had witnessed few people who would fight when they were outnumbered or who cared for others so much that they would risk their own health to save someone. She also said she had met no one else who hoped for better conditions for others but was not blinded by the theory that everything would work out. There was a difference between optimists who believed only good would happen only to be disappointed when it was less than the best and those who hoped and strived for better but didn't expect the world to bow at their feet.

She expressed a desire to help him and others only if Jakson allowed her aid. He was about to refuse at first. His father had warned him and Bethany of spirits, or more specifically demons, trying to possess mages. Demons would sneak into your mind and use your deepest desires to get a hold in the mortal realm and they could take any form, they could even disguise themselves as benevolent spirits. Before he could refuse, however, Hope told him she had no craving for the mortal world. She had no interest of stepping into such a chaotic place but she did want to aid it. Because a mage is always connected with the Fade, even when awake, she would be able to stay in the Fade and lend her strength when Jakson needed it. Jakson accepted her help and for the past several years she never asked for a thing in return and never tried to step into his mind.

"She? I was not aware that Fade creatures had genders."

"They don't, not really. Hope just prefers the persona of a woman. But that's not important. Hope is a benevolent spirit, she embodies one of our virtues."

"I don't think I ever considered hope a virtue, more like a fools' notion."

"I thought the same thing but then again joy doesn't sound much like a virtue either but it is."

"How can you be so sure she won't turn on you?"

"I hope. That's pretty much my thing, hoping… and witty remarks during the most inappropriate times! But seriously, if she is a Spirit of Hope what exactly is she going to do? I understand that Justice was morphed into Vengeance but I'm not sure how that works on Hope. Maybe she'd turn into a Spirit of Angst or Pessimism! I'm not planning on having someone living in my head though. I already have trouble keeping my own thoughts straight let alone two people's thoughts in order."

"You have shown far more restraint than any mage… any man I have encountered, my treatment was…"

"Expected." Fenris turned a surprised look at the man but he didn't catch it as he tried to stare at anything besides the elf, his eyes finally falling on the floor. "Magic is dangerous. It can help… just as easily as it can destroy. If you want the truth then I would give up magic in a heartbeat if I could, but I can't. I know that… I'm a danger but I hope that the only thing I do is help others."

Fenris sat frozen for a moment. This was the first time he really heard Jakson say anything about magic since the first time they met. He remembered how Jakson had stopped his brother from arguing with the elf claiming he, like any mage, could fall to temptation. What he said surprised him. Jakson knew he was dangerous and understood others' fears when many mages didn't care what others felt. "Perhaps… we should start over?"

The mage lifted his head in shock. He saw Fenris' sincere face and gave a warm smile, his silver eyes dancing in amusement as he extended his hand. "How do ya do? I'm Jakson Hawke, and you are?"

Fenris couldn't prevent a corner of his mouth from twisting into a smile as he reached for the outstretched hand with his own gauntleted one. "Fenris."

"Ah now there's a handsome smile!" _Shit, I didn't mean to say that out loud_. Jakson scolded himself but was pleasantly surprised when he was rewarded with a chuckle from the elf. The laugh was warm and inviting making Jakson feel bubbly inside.

**I told you not to give up hope.**

_Yes, you can do the "I told you so" dance now._

**The what?**

_Never mind._

Just then Jakson noticed a dark splotch on the other man's leather coat, just above the man's hip. He would have just brushed it off but the stain seemed to be increasing slowly in size and he could make out the faint color of red in the firelight. He also noticed what appeared to be three sets of stitch marks where the stain was. It then clicked that nobody had checked on Fenris after the battle with the dragon. Jakson had only just finished healing Carver when the elf marched away in anger after he heard of the mage's secret friend. It shouldn't have been surprising that he hadn't sought the aid from either mage but it also seemed just a tad moronic.

"Should I be worried that you're bleeding and haven't said a single word about it?" The elf seemed to squirm visibly in his seat. "I hear blood stains are a pain to wash out."

"I applied herbs to it and drank a health poultice but it seems that the wound was greater than I thought."

"Well, unless you plan to continue bleeding to death I suggest you show me the wound." The elf stiffened in his seat. "I don't have to use magic." Jakson quickly threw his hands up in a peaceful manner. "I know herbal medicine just as well and can probably stop the bleeding."

"I… have no problem with you using your healing magic." Jakson didn't notice the slight blush that crept up the elf's neck as he was too busy trying to find the best way to get to the wound. Fenris removed his breastplate and lifted his leather tunic just enough to reveal the wound. Three claw marks were a bright angry red against the tan flesh. The mage moved his hand over the wound before looking back up to see the elf's head turned away.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes" came the short reply and it was true. Fenris didn't mind the magic but only because it was not being used to bend him against his will. Danarius had many times used magic on him, making his body feel so heavy that he would collapse to the floor or have his skin burn that no amount of cold water would help. His lyrium markings increased the affect of magic on his person if a mage was close near. Strangely enough he seemed more resistant to magic if a caster was a fair distance away. But the closer and the more painful a spell could be. Where one would normally only feel a small zap from electricity Fenris would find his entire body convulse as though struck by lightning. It was how Danarius controlled him, one wrong move and the elf would be put back in place with the slightest wave of the hand.

This meant though, that the affect of healing magic increased tenfold as well but not in an unpleasant way. Since meeting up with Jakson and his band of misfits he had run into more trouble than he would have liked, mind you the constant battles kept his wits about him. Many times he would find himself wounded, though not severely. Jakson offered to heal him and every time the healing magic ebbed off the mage's fingers Fenris felt a warm, soothing sensation hit his markings and despite the fact that his injury was only in one place the soothing energy followed the lines of his markings until it engulfed his entire body. Never before had he felt such pleasure and he craved more but he also wished for it to never happen again. On more than one occasion the warmth spread to even his more private areas, stirring it to life and he was thankful that his long vest hid his arousal.

What was strange was that it only happened around Jakson. When Anders healed him he found a similar warmth but it wasn't as strong or caring, it felt rushed, urgent and it didn't envelope him. Even now he fought to keep himself hidden, hoping the mage was too distracted to notice the bulge in his breeches. He let a breath he didn't realize he had been holding out when the mage pulled back with a smile.

"All done." Fenris reached down and found his skin smooth to the touch, the wounds gone just like Carver's with no scar left behind.

"Are you two lovebirds done making up?" The two jumped back to turn toward the dwarf. The man was as silent as a chantry mouse when he wanted to be and by the smirk plastered on the dwarf's face the two could only assume he heard every word. The elf just hoped his vision wasn't as good as his hearing, Maker knew the dwarf didn't need any more fodder for his stories. "Good! We can play a round of Diamondback now."

Varric rounded up both the disgruntled Anders and similarly disgruntled Carver to play. It was terrifyingly quiet, mostly with Jakson glaring at Carver and Anders for glaring at Fenris who was either unaware of their glares or just didn't care while Varric seemed to be jotting down something in a leather bound book. Someone needed to say something cheerful or Jakson was going to go insane, luckily Varric got the hint.

"So… _The Axe and the Wand_? I didn't know you were into those sappy romances, Hawke."

"It's not just a romance, it has plenty of sword fights and undead and what not too."

"It's a romance, Hawke." Anders set his cards face down as he began to recite some of the story in a dramatized fashion. "_He gently took her hand, kissing the palm and continued moving his way upward until…_"

Jakson felt his face heat up and threw his hands out in exasperation. "I never said it wasn't a romance! I just said there was more to it!"

"You wouldn't have gotten the second book if you didn't like sappy, steamy romances." Anders and Varric smirked at Jakson who just pouted back at them.

"Can we talk about something else please?"

"Sure." Varric shrugged as he drew from the deck. "How bout explaining why you have a naked lady impaled on a stick."

"This?" Jakson pulled the golden staff from his back. He set the bottom on the ground while the golden top caught the light from the fire. The silhouette of a woman stood tall with arms spread out. Two blades that resembled wings sprouted from her back. "It belonged to my father. Mother gave it to me a few weeks ago. She said that father wanted me to have it when I was older."

"But why a naked woman? Wouldn't it make more sense if it were a naked man since you swing that way?"

"One: I don't think my father would magically change the gender of his staff to suit me when he passed it on. Two: I think he gave it to me because I don't like women."

"Huh?" seemed to be the unanimous response of the group.

"Let's say Isabela had this, what do you think she would do with it?"

"Fondle it."

"Exactly! I'm not about to go feeling up my staff when it has tits, besides there's already one person here who has an inappropriate relationship with their weapon. I don't think we need another."

"Why are you all looking at me? I'm a perfect gentleman to Bianca."

"_Anyway,_ I think we need another new line of conversation" The group nodded in agreement, playing only a couple of games before retiring for the night.

Bartrand rattled everyone awake to get the expedition moving again, they were only a few hours from their destination after all. Once at the Thaig the companions ventured ahead to look for anything valuable and came across a side chamber. Jakson felt the pull of magic as they ventured further in and by the look on Anders face he felt it too.

On an altar was a glowing red statue made of pure lyrium, tendrils of magic seeping from its core. The mages examined it closely and Jakson had a bad feeling nagging at him. It was powerful, probably the most potent lyrium he had ever come across. For a brief second he thought he heard something whispering in his ear before Varric snatched it away to toss off to Bartrand who'd followed them.

As Jakson continued looking about the room he heard stone grinding against stone and turned to see the door closing shut. He raced down the stairs only to be too late to keep the door from closing. Varric yelled for his brother, hoping he would open the door. He didn't.


	11. A Snowman's Smile

**Chapter 11**

"_Think we could… take a break?" The young warrior sounded exhausted "I feel… wrong."_

_Jakson nodded his head though it was turned away from his brother. "I'm sure you're not the only one."_

"_I'll wager it was those deep mushrooms we found" the cheery dwarf chuckled._

"_No it's…" before another word could be uttered Jakson heard his brother collapse onto the hard stone floor. He twisted around, eyes growing wide at the sight of Carver's sickly pale skin and white eyes. They shouldn't have been white, they were blue! Something was wrong. Jakson dropped to his knees in front of his brother who was staring at the ground in shame. Jakson had his hand hover above his brother as he tried to use his magic to sense what was wrong._

"_It's the Blight. I can sense it" came Anders grim reply._

"_Just like that templar, Wesley. I'll be just as dead, just as gone." Carver struggled to sit up straight. Jakson put an arm on his back to keep him up._

"_This is just like you, keeping things to yourself" though it may have been a pour time to joke Jakson had no idea what he should do. Inside he was terrified and the look his brother was giving him meant that Carver knew how worried Jakson really was._

"_I'm sorry, I thought… I thought it was nothing! I'm… not going to make it to the surface. It's getting worse." Carver turned toward Jakson, sadness overwhelming his features as he realized what he was going to say. "You have to end it. Stop the pain."_

_Horrified, Jakson shook his head. "How can I kill my own brother?"_

"_Because he's asking you to." Carver's eyes were filled with guilt. He didn't want to ask his brother this, knew Jakson would spend the rest of his life blaming himself but Carver was selfish and did not want to turn into a mindless ghoul. He wished he wasn't selfish and wished he hadn't asked Jakson to do it but it was too late now. _

**Wake up!**

Jakson's eyes flew open as he heard an insistent pounding. At first he thought it was his heart trying to break out of his chest but it was just coming from his bedroom door. He sighed as he realized it was just another nightmare, a bad memory that happened only months ago. The expedition ended poorly, after Bartrand's betrayal Carver had been infected by the Darkspawn. Jakson believed for a moment that he really would have had to kill his own little brother but Anders had intervened claiming that Grey Wardens were scouting the tunnels. It meant a chance at life but only Anders knew what that really meant. Jakson, however was not about to let Carver die but months later and he still had no word if Carver was alive or if… And for a week his mother barely even spoke two words to Jakson, silently blaming him for the loss of her youngest children. Jakson didn't even try to understand how upset his mother was. To lose the man you love and then your two youngest children that you had brought into the world. Jakson missed them too but a mother's tears are always the fiercest.

The insistent pounding continued and Jakson tried to suppress a groan. He was lying on his stomach, soft blankets providing warmth from the outside chill of winter. Not long after the expedition Leandra was able to reclaim her childhood home, the one Jakson now found himself living in. He still wasn't used to living in such a big mansion but his mother had assured him the feeling would fade. He glanced out his window to see it was early in the morning which made him wonder who could be knocking as no one got up this early but him. Then it wasn't a surprise who it was when he heard someone call from the other side.

"Jakson Hawke! Open this door" it sounded like a fuming mother, worrying over her children but it was distinctly Aveline's voice. He often wondered how the Guard Captain would react if he told her she sounded like a mother, either he'd get punched in the face or thanked. Though he supposed the best kind of voice for someone in charge was that of a mother, you _never_ disobeyed mothers. It was bad for one's health.

However at this point in Jakson's life he could care less about his well being and answered without so much thinking "Nobody's home."

"Oh? So Jakson has a disembodied voice to receive his messages?" Varric was here too? Jakson just gave a little shrug though no one could see it. He would just play along until the two left.

"Yes. Please leave your message after the, uh… thump" and at that Jakson flailed an arm out from under the covers and knocked over a half melted candle that thumped against the carpeted floor.

"Jakson, we all just wanted to make sure if you were okay" that sounded like Merrill. "We had a sur... Ah! Oh, Isabela that tickled! Can't you see I'm trying to leave a message for the disembodied voice to give to Jakson?"

"Sorry kitten but you should know that _is_ Jakson."

"It… oh! Oh, silly me. Thinking there was actually but never mind then."

"Jakson, come on. Get up! You don't want to miss Kirkwall's winter do you?" Anders called.

"What winter? We're on the bloody coast, we don't even get any frost!" Was everyone inhabiting his house today?

"Venhedis!" Yep, everyone was in his house and by the sounds of it they weren't too thrilled. "Open this door Jakson or I will break it down!"

"Mother very much likes the doors where they are, Fenris" the mage called before stuffing his face in his pillow.

"Here, Fenris. I have a key to his room" _Mother you traitor! _Jakson groaned and almost leapt from his bed as the door slammed open. All his friends stormed through the threshold with the two warriors glaring at him. He tried to hide under the blankets but his trusted Mabari, Watson, seemed to have a different idea as the hound ripped the covers from his bed. He was entirely grateful he didn't sleep in the nude and preferred cotton pants and a night shirt and by the pout on Isabela's lips he could tell she was not as grateful. Jakson's mother strolled in between the companions and sat down next to him.

"You're getting out of this house and getting air young man" she pulled a scarf from behind her and wrapped it around the man's shoulders making sure it was nice and snug around his neck. "There might not be any snow here like Ferelden but it still gets cold. Now you take all your little friends and have some fun and make sure you bring them all back for dinner" the woman smiled "I'm making roast."

Jakson groaned as he thought about his hopeless situation.

**It is not hopeless.**

_You're in on it aren't you, you little Fade Spirit?_

**No. I have no idea what they plan to do but I see no wrong.**

After convincing his friends and a mostly disappointed Isabela that he could get dressed by himself in the privacy of his own room he had been literally dragged by a disgruntled Aveline out the door and into the chill of winter.

It really was nothing like Ferelden. At this time of the year there would be snow up to Jakson's knee that he would have to trudged through to get anywhere and he wouldn't be allowed anywhere without a shirt, sweater, coat, and fur lined cape but in Kirkwall the closet it came to snowing was the visible breath that he huffed into the air and he only needed a light coat to ward off the cold. Aveline, Anders, and Merril had also decided on only a light coat or scarf for the cold since they all were used to Ferelden's harsh winters. Varric however seemed to prefer to close up his heavy coat while Isabela and Fenris who were used to warmer climates had donned on more clothing than the rest. It was almost a miracle Jakson only saw the skin on Isabela's face but not everyone had a tolerance for the cold he mused as the woman was wearing nothing but fur lined clothing.

He missed Ferelden, missed the mud and cold, the snow. He loved the snow! He would spending hours rolling around in it with the twins, make snowmen, and have snowball fights, and then at the end of the day their mother and father would have them sit next to the fireplace to warm up and give them something hot to drink while their father retold his children their favorite stories. But this wasn't Ferelden, it didn't snow in the summer, Mabari didn't run around, and instead of mud there was sand, lots and lots of sand. Sand was annoying, it got in your clothes and stuck to your skin leaving a terrible itch in more private areas. He didn't like sand.

Jakson still wasn't exactly sure where his friends were towing him to, it felt like they had been walking for hours, but he had little choice but to follow. He had already tried running away while no one was looking but Isabela had been quick on her feet and tackled him to the ground before he could get too far. He was being childish he knew, but he just didn't feel like doing anything lately and he knew why. He still felt responsible for Carver but he could do little about it now so he spent the rest of the walk staring at the ground sulking like a five year old that had been denied dessert. He could sense his friends glancing back every now and again to make sure he didn't bolt, they even placed the Tevinter elf in the rear to keep the man from going anywhere.

Isabela took another look at the depressed looking mage before turning to the Guard Captain who was leading the little troop of misfits up Sundermount "Are you sure this will work?"

"No, but I think it's our best bet. Maybe giving him a piece of home will help" the women stopped as they waited for the others to catch up. Jakson trudging slowly up the mountainside.

Jakson sighed as he could see his friends stop, they were either already there or they were waiting for his slow hide to go faster. Jakson froze for a moment as he heard a crunching sound beneath his feet. He stopped trying to look through the ground and looked at it. The ground was strangely white and he saw little white specks falling to cover the ground in more white. He stood there as he tried to decipher why sand would be white instead of yellow until it hit him. It was snow. He couldn't believe it so he continued staring, waiting for the dream to end.

"It's not working, lady man-hands" Isabela huffed, her breath clearly visible as she breathed out. "You brought us out in the cold for nothing."

"Shut up, whore. At least I tried something that didn't involve throwing him to the Blooming Rose. I thought bringing him here would help. He always reminisced about the snow the time I've known him and this is the only place in miles where you can find snow."

Jakson raised his head to see the women bickering, Varric and Merrill talking away from them, and Anders walking further up the slope. They were all oblivious to the wicked grin that began to spread on the mage's face as he bent down and shoveled some snow into his hands and compressed it into a ball, all but Watson and Fenris anyway.

"Jakson, what are you doing?" Jakson glanced at the elf and felt his cheeks warm. He would never say it out loud for fear of being punched but the man looked adorable with a long scarf, mittens and a long coat on. The only thing he was missing was earmuffs and Jakson was sure he'd melt into a puddle for starring at so much cuteness. He cleared his throat as the elf raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Trust me when I say you'll like this." The elf only gave him a quizzical look as he followed the man's gaze.

"If you do not shut your…" before Aveline could finish her sentence she saw a white blur pass in front of her face. Isabela and Aveline turned to where the white ball flew to as they heard a yelp from Anders. They found the man lying face down in the snow with snow on the back of his head. The women turned back to each other with shared looks of confusion as they heard a roar of laughter. Everyone turned to see the normally broody elf laughing at the fallen mage as Jakson packed snow together in his hands. Jakson lightly nudge the elf in the side and handed him the snowball. No one liked the sinister smile that crept onto the man's face so they all leapt for cover but Fenris was able to catch Isabela right on her ass. Like Anders she gave a yelp and quickly swiped the cold snow from her hide.

"Snowball fight!" Jakson called, his face lit up with joy the friends hadn't seen for months. "Wait, wait no. Capture the flag!" Jakson found a long, thin stick and broke it into four long pieces and four short ones. He held the sticks just right so no one could tell their lengths "I propose this, everyone picks a stick at random. Everyone with a long stick is one team while everyone with a short stick is on another."

The mage beamed as everyone agreed. He quickly explained the rules to Merrill who had never heard it before and let everyone draw a stick. The first team ended up being Aveline, Varric, Watson and Anders while the other team was Jakson, Fenris, Merrill and Isabela. The group scoped out the area before finding a small clearing with thick forest on either side. The teams split off into the thick of trees to prepare.

"Alright then" Jakson took his stick and drew in the snow. "Merrill, I want you to climb in that tree and fire snowballs at anyone from the other team who tries to get our flag" he pointed to the blue cloth tied to a stick currently jutting out of the ground "Isabela, I think…"

"I should sneak around and snatch their flag?" the woman smirked as she gave a salute.

"What do we do?" Fenris asked as he started to form his own snowballs.

"We provide a distraction, we get to the edge of the trees and fire snowballs at anyone we see but first we should see if it's not too late to start making a sturdy wall of snow to hide behind."

"You boys better hurry." Isabela disappeared into the shadows as Merrill clambered up the tree to hide in the branches. Jakson and Fenris made their way to the edge of the trees and started building a wall that connected the trees while the other team was forming their own plan.

"So what's the plan?" Anders leaned against his staff as he waited for the Aveline to speak.

"They'll most likely send Isabela to get the flag so we need someone who can sense her. Watson you guard the flag, you'll be able to sniff anyone out" the hound barked in agreement. "Varric and I will take the front lines."

"We will?"

"Yes, and you" Aveline pointed at the mage "are going after the flag."

"Why me?"

"You're springy for a mage Blondie. If you haven't noticed I have short legs." Varric bit the inside of his cheek at the defeated look the man gave. He might not want to be the center of attention getting that flag but Varric saw the inner child behind the brown eyes wanting to start the fun already.

Varric and Aveline made their way to the clearing where they spotted the mage and elf patting snow into some sort of wall.

"Let's see if you're as good with a snowball as you are with knives dwarf." Aveline packed snow together and tossed it toward the dwarf.

"Duck!" Fenris shouted.

"At this time of year?" Jakson was shoved to the ground by the elf as a snowball whizzed past their heads. "Oh." Jakson had still been working on the wall so he hadn't noticed the other team had started firing. The two reached for the small pile of snowballs they premade and hurled them over their cover. The four tossed snowballs back and forth as Isabela and Anders snuck around to the other side of the clearing unnoticed.

Anders treaded carefully through the woods, listening to the childish calls from the clearing. He was sure that he hadn't been spotted by either Jakson or Fenris but that still left two others, one if Isabela had already left for their flag. He sensed no one as he crouched behind a bush. He could just see the blue flag blowing in the wind and not a soul in sight. Part of him thought it was a trap but the only person there would be Merrill and honestly she wasn't that bright. Pushing aside his commonsense the man continued forward reaching his hand out to grab the flag. He was mere inches from touching it when all of a sudden he felt something cold strike the back of his head and he fell forward into the snow for the second time that day.

"Oh! Are you okay, Anders? I didn't throw it too hard did I? Jakson said to throw it at the other team but oh you look so cold!"

Isabela was not surprised she went unnoticed, she was a rogue after all but she was a little concerned about the Mabari that was currently staring her down even though she was hidden in the shadows. Everywhere she silently moved the piercing eyes followed her. Before she could even think of a way to get passed the hound bounded towards her "Oh no. Nice doggy!"

Jakson and Fenris kept throwing, adrenaline fueling their blood. The two stopped as they saw Aveline and Varric duck behind cover. They waited, keeping low behind their wall and watched for any signs of the two emerging. The first thing Jakson saw was a massive snowball, probably more accurately called a snow boulder hurtle towards Fenris. Jakson pushed the man down, falling with him as the snow hit a tree behind them making the tree shake from impact and snow fall from its branches.

"Heh, sorry about that." Jakson sat up only to realize he had landed on the elf, straddling the other man's hips. Almost paralyzed he just stared, he saw how the elf's white hair blended with the snow beneath his head and how his chest was rising and falling quickly as his breathing quickened. He couldn't stop the blush that spread up his neck and to his face as he finally felt that Fenris' hands had latched onto his hips, where they probably reached for out of instinct as he was thrown to the ground. The mage noticed he was not the only one caught off guard by the awkward position as he saw a blush on the elf's cheeks as well. They looked each other in the eye for a long silent moment.

If it was any other handsome man he was straddling he might have sent a prayer to the Maker but Fenris was… different. Many times Jakson found himself dreaming of the ex-slave but knew it could never be with his strong hatred for magic. Over the months he'd gotten to know the elf, even considered him a friend as the elf seemed to relax around him. It might have just been his imagination but he thought that the elf appeared to relax more around Jakson than their other companions, even the non-mages. Maybe the elf considered him a friend as well but it would never be more than that. This didn't stop the mage from flirting, mind you the words were usually out of his mouth before he even knew what he was saying but he always pulled a chuckle from the man or a flirt in return even if a subtle one.

Jakson realized that he had been staring at the man for awhile without uttering a word and jumped to his feet "I'm sorry! I am so…" before he could finish a man sized snowball rammed into him sending him to the ground. The mage flailed his arms around trying to remove the heavy snow from his face. A strong hand grabbed his own and hauled him back onto his feet. "Thanks."

"You are welcome" the elf smirked.

"Good girl, Bianca!" The two turned to see Aveline load a large snowball as Varric aimed his crossbow towards them. "How bout we give them another?"

"How about we round this up?" the pirate stepped into the clearing and waved a green flag in the air "Because we won!"

Aveline tried probing Isabela as to how she got past the Mabari but the pirate refused to give away her secret. It wasn't hard for Jakson to figure it out though, the Mabari was a sucker for belly rubs. Merrill lit a fire to help the group warm up before they took the long trek down the mountain. Most of the friends huddled around the fire but Jakson was lounging against a tree away from the others scratching Watson behind the ears. The mage looked up as he heard the crunching sound of snow beneath someone's feet. Fenris made his way over before sitting next to him.

After a few moments of silence Fenris spoke in his deep, rich voice "Feeling better?"

"Very much. Thank you."

"It was Aveline's idea."

"And you helped, you all helped. So I should thank everyone." The two sat in comfortable silence until a thought stirred in Jakson's head "Can I… ask a favor of you?"

"What's the favor?"

"I want you to promise me you'll kill me if I ever use blood magic or become possessed."

Fenris froze. Did he hear that right? Did the mage truly just ask to be killed?

"You should know by now that I actually side more with the templars than mages, Fenris. My father taught me and Bethany all the horrors of demons and blood magic and I never want to hurt the ones I care for. I… I had Carver promise to kill me before I could hurt anyone I loved. He didn't want to but he knew it was for the best. I don't know how but Bethany found out about our promise and made Carver swear he'd do the same to her… but he isn't here anymore and I don't know if he'll ever come back. You of all people have seen firsthand what a corrupt mage will do. That's why I ask, because I know that you'd stop me before I could hurt anyone."

"You truly are an odd mage."

"Yeah, always have been, always will be the odd one out."

"I…" Fenris swallowed back the lump in his throat, he didn't know why this felt hard to say "promise. I'll not let you hurt anyone."

"Thank you."


	12. A Night to Forget

**Chapter 12**

Fenris walked through the streets of Hightown until he reached the familiar mansion with matching crests on each side of the front door. It was Friday night and he was there to drag Jakson to the Hanged Man for game night. It had been a couple months since the group had dragged the mage to the snow covered mountain. His bright smile had returned to his face after the snowball fight and he had gone back to telling his jokes at the dinner table later the same night as his mother served them all a delicious meal. It wasn't long after that night that Jakson and his family received a letter informing them that Carver had survived the Joining. Jakson hadn't really said anything about it but everyone knew how much relief the man must have felt to find his brother was alive and well.

Even though he was happier than he had been since the Deep Roads he was still a bit reluctant to leave the house most days when people weren't begging for his help. Varric decided they all needed a game night to force the mage out of the house at least once a week. Their concern pleased Leandra greatly and she had told them she could not think of anyone better to be her son's friends. So every week someone would come by to haul Jakson to the tavern and coincidently Leandra would always have a basket filled with fresh baked goods she would send off with her son. On multiple occasions Jakson expressed that he could walk to the tavern himself but the one time no one went to get him he hadn't shown until a half hour later and he only came because Bodahn had shoved him through the door. It was the dwarf merchant's way of repaying the mage for rescuing Sandal and allowing them to live in his house, he was quite concerned for the man himself.

Fenris had volunteered to retrieve Jakson this night. It was usually Aveline or Fenris who went to get him since it was more convenient for them to fetch the mage than the others who lived in Lowtown. The sun was about to set when he knocked on the door. The elf waited patiently for someone to answer the door and was a little surprised to see smiling silver eyes greet him. Fenris had been expecting Bodahn to open the door as he often did while acting as Jakson's manservant but he wasn't the standing before him. Leandra stood with a small smile on her face when she opened the door but once she realized who was standing outside her smile grew. She stepped aside and ushered the elf through.

"Fenris, it's lovely to see you. How's your day going?"

"I am well, thank you." Fenris bowed his head respectfully before entering the foyer. "Your day is good, I hope."

"Yes, dear. Today is quite nice. Jakson's in his room. He actually seemed quite chipper this morning, I think he's looking forward to game night." Fenris smiled politely at her, feeling a bit of relief that Jakson was starting to crawl the rest of the way from his hole. Leandra led him further in the house before speaking again "You can just go up and see if he's ready. Oh, and I made some food you can take with you to the game, I'll go get it."

Fenris gave thanks to her usual kindness before walking up the stairs in search of his friend. Yes, friend. After knowing the man for almost two years now he could not call Jakson anything else when all he showed was kindness to him and others. When he reached Jakson's room he noticed the door was not properly closed. Thinking nothing of it he gently nudged the door open. He froze however when he stepped through the door. Jakson was standing next to his bed in nothing but dark grey breeches and boots, his bare back turned toward the elf. It seemed the man was shifting through his closet looking for a shirt to wear. Fenris had to admit he liked the view but he felt horrible for invading the man's personal space. He was about to back out the door quietly until something caught his eye. He stared at the several obvious long scars that littered the man's back. They crisscrossed over each other so he had no idea just how many there were. One in particular stretched from the man's left shoulder to his right hip. It wasn't surprising Jakson had scars with all the mischief he got up to but Fenris could tell exactly what made those scars and he felt his blood boil. Without thinking he closed the door and marched straight toward the mage.

Jakson almost jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder. He felt a small surge of panic run through him and tried to pull away from the hand but another one grabbed his hip to keep him in place. Jakson snapped his head to the side to see Fenris out of the corner of his eye. He felt himself relax a little but then he realized the elf had a clear view of his back. Feeling self-conscious he tried to pull away again but the elf would not release him. "Fenris, what-"

"Who?" Jakson stiffened when he heard the dangerous growl in Fenris' voice.

"I don't know what-"

"You know _exactly _what I'm talking about, don't lie. Who did this?"

"These ol' things?" Jakson tried to give an uncaring shrug. "They're nothing important."

"These aren't just scars, they're…" Fenris swallowed a lump in his throat as he tried to imagine who could have made those scars or why. He felt an unnatural urge to find out who it was so he could rip their beating heart out. "Someone _whipped_ you and they were by no means gentle."

Jakson's eyes widened in surprise. "How did you know?"

"It is common practice, used to put a slave back in their place. The offending slave would be taken out where all other slaves could see them so they would know what happened if they disobeyed. I have seen it happen many times in Tevinter and have seen the scars on many slaves."

Jakson turned his head away and sighed. "It doesn't matter who."

"Doesn't matter? Someone took a whip to your back and it doesn't matter?" Fenris' voice was starting to rise and he felt Jakson stiffen more if that was even possible.

"Not so loud" Jakson gave a harsh whisper. "Mother will hear you."

Fenris did his best to calm down and whispered back "She does not know?"

Jakson looked at his feet when he replied "Not the whole story."

Fenris still had not released his grip on the man, his gaze too focused on the scars in front of him. The mage was rubbing one arm nervously as he looked anywhere in the room but at the elf. Finally Jakson turned his head enough to look at the elf. Though Fenris could only see one eye he could see the rampant emotions in it. Fenris saw fear, guilt, and even shame filling the usually smiling silver eyes and he truly wondered who could have made such a strong man feel such a way. Fenris calmly spoke "Tell me who did it and I shall make them pay."

Jakson gave a hollow laugh, his eyes flashing in hatred for a second before returning to defeat, to hollow acceptance. "Good luck with that."

"They are dead then?" Jakson's eyes shut tightly to avoid the elf's concerned gaze. "It is clear that whatever happened is affecting you greatly, if not me you should still speak to someone about it. Bottling it up will do you no good."

"You're right." Fenris barely heard the man's words. Jakson turned his head away again, choosing to look straight ahead. He didn't want Fenris or anyone for that matter to see his scars but what he wanted even more was for Fenris to not see the pain in his eyes.

All of a sudden Fenris felt nervous. He had offered to listen but was Jakson really comfortable speaking to him about it? He felt a small pang of sadness at the idea that Jakson would not trust him enough with this. He was not even sure he really wanted to know, especially if talking about it only caused the man pain. He quickly spoke "Aveline would make an excellent confidant, she has known-"

"No." Jakson turned to look at Fenris for a moment before turning back. "I… cannot think of anyone I would rather talk to than you."

Fenris stood a little shocked from Jakson's words. "I am here to listen." Fenris stayed where he was, did not force the man to look at him, did not sit, just stood and waited as his eyes glued to the longest scar. Jakson would speak when he was ready and not before that.

After what felt like hours though it was only a few minutes the mage spoke, loud enough for Fenris to hear but low enough no one on the other side of the door could. "Before Lothering my family was constantly on the move. We would stay in a village or city for a couple weeks and then leave. It was a few years before I found out why we always moved. Father and mother were always worried about templars and they became more worried when they found out their children had magic. I was twelve when we stopped in this fairly large city."

Jakson breathed in slowly before continuing. His vision filled with images of the past as he spoke.

"_Jakson, sweetie." _

_Jakson poked his head through the door way to look at his mother. "Yes, mother?"_

"_I was wondering if you could run to the market quickly, it appears I forgot some things for dinner." Jakson nodded as he smiled up at his mother. She handed him a short list along with a small pouch of coins. "Don't take too long, dear. Your father said he'd be back early from work today."_

"_Really?" Jakson's smile stretched from ear to ear. Since they had moved to the city his father was often kept late for work so none of his children had seen much of him. Jakson knew that Carver and Bethany would be just as happy as he was when their father came home early. When Leandra nodded in affirmation Jakson practically jumped in joy and ran out the door screaming "Be back soon!"_

_It didn't take long to get to the market and lucky the stalls were still open. He went through the list and got everything his mother asked for. The sun was setting when he had everything and started his way back home. He got a little turned around at first, still not use to the city, and had to ask a passerby for help. Once they pointed him in the right direction it had become dark. He knew his mother would worry if he didn't get back soon and started home at a jog._

_He was half way home when he heard a pained sound coming from an alley. Jakson froze and turned his head toward the direction of the sound. He couldn't see anything down the dark alley but he heard another pained noise, it sounded like a wounded animal. He knew he should head home but the whimpering sounds pulled at his heart strings. Jakson pulled the small knife his father had given him from his boot and started down the alley as quietly as he could. The noises became louder and louder until Jakson poked his head around a stack of wooden crates. His eyes widened when he took in the sight of a small Mabari pup. Its fur was matted with blood and there was a tear in the pup's leg, the gash so deep Jakson could see bone. The pup kept making distressed noises and Jakson did not have the heart to leave it._

_He knew he could help the dog but it would require magic. His father had constantly warned him not to use magic without a good reason. Surely saving this pup's life counted as a good reason. If it didn't receive proper care soon the wound would most likely get infected and the pup would not survive. Jakson felt his resolve to help the hound harden as he heard another painful whimper escape its mouth. He set the bag of groceries and his knife on the ground before running back to the entrance of the alley. He looked back and forth to see if anyone was still out. When he found no one on the streets he had run to the alley's other entrance and did the same. When he was sure the coast was clear he ran back to the pup and knelt next to it._

_The Mabari turned frightened and pained eyes to him and whimpered when Jakson moved a hand toward him. Jakson spoke in a soothing voice "It's okay, boy." He gave a warm and reassuring smile. "I just want to help."_

_His words seemed to calm the hound and it laid still on the dirty ground as Jakson held his hands above the wound. His father had taught him much magic and Jakson was proud of how good his healing abilities were even if he wasn't nearly as good in other schools of magic. Jakson closed his eyes as he felt the arcane energy swirl around him before seeping into the wound. The magic gave off a soft blue glow but the light was faint. Jakson kept concentrating as he felt the skin start to stitch back together through his magic. He didn't know how long her sat there but when he was done he was exhausted, had never felt so drained before in his life but when he saw the Mabari pup stand on its own without so much as staggering he knew the effort was worth the fatigue. The pup walked a couple steps and looked at its leg. The pup turned astonished eyes toward the young mage before bounding forward and licking his face._

_Jakson laughed as the dog slobbered all over his face. "Down, boy. Ha ha, I can't breathe!" The Mabari bounced back a step and let its tongue loll out the side of its mouth. Jakson gave it a scratch behind the ears. "All better!"_

"_Now what do we have here? A little mageling." Jakson froze for a second as the pup started barking frantically at the men behind him. Jakson turned fearful eyes around. Looming above him were three large men wearing plate armor and helmets that covered everything but their eyes, eyes that seemed to scream sinister. His eyes lingered on the insignia on their armor. He had seen it many times before. The men behind him were templars. The man with the demonic yellow eyes spoke, his voice nothing but malicious. "You're coming with us apostate."_

_As the man reached down for him Jakson lunged for the knife he had set down. A foot stepped on the blade , however, before he could grab it. Jakson ducked under the hand that tried to reach him and jumped to his feet. He stumbled a few feet but once he had his balance he took off as fast as he could. He wasn't fast enough though as a cold metal hand gripped his hair before he could make it out of the alley. He was pulled back and thrown to the ground. He felt several hairs pull out of his head as they had snagged in the gauntlet's joints. He felt a hand grab the back of his shirt and lift him off the ground. He thrashed around and tried to swing at the men but to no avail, all they did was laugh._

"_This one's got spirit. Think we should break him of it?"_

"_Definitely. We can't have rebellious mages polluting the Circle can we?"_

_Jakson heard one of the men scream and he looked to see the Mabari pup had bitten the man's ankle. The templar kicked the pup away viciously and it gave a pained yelp. The man picked it up by the scruff of the neck and tossed into a pile of crates that fell on top of the pup. "Flea bitten mongrel. Should know better than to help a mage."_

_One of the men walked over to Jakson's discarded things, shifting through the bag of groceries before dropping it unceremoniously to the ground. He picked up the knife next and studied it. "Now what's a little mage doing with such a dangerous knife? You could hurt someone with this."_

"_Maybe he's a blood mage." The voice came from the man holding Jakson in the air._

_Jakson did not think, merely yelled "I'm not a blood mage! The knife's just protection!"_

"_And how do we know you're telling the truth?" The man pulled Jakson close enough to whisper in his ear. "For all we know you're an abomination, made a deal with a demon." _

"_I'm not! I didn't!" Jakson twisted in the man's grasp and took a chance. His fingers crackled with electrical energy and he shot his hand out toward one of the templars. It seemed to stun them for a second and Jakson concentrated until the bolt of electricity jumped back to the man holding him. Unfortunately, when the bolt hit the man it seemed to surge through him and into Jakson. He was dropped to the ground and started coughing from the electrical shock. He could feel his hair standing on end but he didn't care. He tried to scramble back to his feet but the third templar grabbed him. All of a sudden Jakson felt every ounce of energy leave his body and he could no longer feel arcane energy swirling inside him. His fatigue scared him and he struggled again but was too weak to do anything. He felt so tired._

"_That wasn't a good idea, boy." The templar growled as he punched Jakson in the gut. He felt all the air leave him before his vision went blank. He felt a cloth wrapped around his eyes and tried to shake it off. The blindfold stayed in place and the next thing he knew Jakson was being carried away. He didn't know where he was once the templars had stopped and he didn't much care. He just wanted his family, just wanted this to all be a bad dream. The templars tied his hands together in front of him and was once again lifted, this time by the newly made knot. The templars hung him from some hook or something and Jakson could barely touch the ground with his toes as he swung a little in the air. He heard a distinct crack resound in the room before he felt immense pain run along his back. He couldn't stifle the scream that left him. When his ears stopped ringing he heard vile laughs from the three men before another crack resounded. He didn't know how many times they struck him but each hit hurt more than the last. He began to feel hopeless and feared he would never see his family again._

Jakson rubbed his eyes tiredly. He hadn't thought much of that night in awhile and to just spill all of it out in one go seemed to exhaust him. He didn't know when but at some point Fenris had let go of him as he spoke. He took a careful glance back at the elf. Fenris' face was carefully neutral and he wasn't sure if he should be glad about that or not. He turned away for what felt like the hundredth time that night. He wasn't done, not yet. "They kept hitting me and I think at one point I passed because the next thing I knew I was on the ground bleeding out. They… weren't done with me though. I…"

Fenris shifted nervously as the pause seemed like it would never end. He placed a hand gently on the man's shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze. "You need not continue if it makes you uncomfortable."

Jakson bowed his head a little and gave another hollow laugh as he spoke "Let's just say, that after that night, I wasn't a virgin anymore."

Fenris felt dread drop to the pit of his stomach as he took in the man's words. He couldn't believe. He knew that there were vile people in the world, knew that magisters weren't the only sick and evil people in the world. He had lived a life of hardship as a slave so he knew how horrible life could be but to think such a thing happened to the kind and always joking man in front of him? It had never crossed his mind. Danarius had done many painful and horrible things to him but he had never _touched_ him. Not like those templars had to Jakson and, oh Maker, he was only twelve years old at the time! Fenris felt sick but did not leave his friend's side.

"After they had their fun they argued about what they should do with me. The leader wanted to drag me back to the Circle for… _easy_ reach should I become rebellious again. But out of nowhere the door to the warehouse they had dragged me to slammed open. The blindfold was gone by that point and I had turned to see my father. Before the templars knew what happened they were trapped in a paralysis rune. I had never seen my father more serious or furious in my life. Normally everything was a joke with him."

"Now we know where you get it." Fenris felt a bit of the tension in the room leave when the small laugh that left Jakson sounded normal and sincere. "I assume he killed them for what they did?"

"No."

"What? Why?"

"I told him not to."

Fenris remained quiet for awhile. "Those men deserved no mercy."

"I didn't do it for them. I did it for my family. Had my father killed them he would have left clear evidence that a mage had done it. Other templars would have found the bodies and who would they suspect? The family that had disappeared the same night of the murder of course. I didn't want to put them in danger because of my idiocy."

"But by letting them live they knew exactly what you looked like."

"Normally, yes. When I told father why we couldn't kill them he erased their memories instead and dumped alcohol on them so everyone would just think they got wasted. Once satisfied they wouldn't wake up anytime soon he checked me over but the paralysis rune he had used had taken quite a bit of effort to maintain. He only had enough mana to seal my wounds but not enough to get rid of the scars. He wrapped me in a blanket and took me home. He told everyone to pack immediately. No one knew what was going on but… they noticed the blood on my back and that was enough to get them moving."

"How did your father find you?"

"Watson. He was the Mabari pup I healed. He had imprinted himself to me and had gotten a strong whiff of my scent. He tracked my scent all the way home. Father had found him scratching at the door, barking frantically. Apparently Watson had gotten a hold of my knife and had taken it with him so when father saw my knife and all the blood covering the dog's fur he didn't question it, just grabbed his staff and followed the pup."

"So that's what you meant when you said Watson saved your life once."

"Yeah. Only father knew what happened but I never spoke about it to him. Mother always asked what happened but father always said 'I don't want the twins to overhear.' She never found out, nor the twins. Maker, they tried asking me what was wrong but they were about nine years old! I couldn't tell them the truth. Everyone fretted over me for weeks though. Shouldn't have surprised me since I spent most of my time shaking or hiding behind father."

Fenris saw the man's shoulders shaking lightly and gave another squeeze to his shoulder. "Jakson, I apologize. I did not mean to make you feel-"

"It's alright Fenris." Jakson turned around and gave tiny yet sad smile. He stood facing the elf, no longer feeling the need to hide. "You were right. I shouldn't have bottled it up. I thought after all these years I had gotten over it but I guess I was just lying to myself. Now that someone knows, now that I've actually told someone the weight of it doesn't seem quite so heavy."

"I am glad." Fenris truly was happy if his friend felt better. He stopped a moment as he saw a lone tear fall from the mage's eyes and run down the length of the man's tattoos. Fenris lifted his hand hesitantly before wiping the tear away with his thumb, effectively brushing his hand across the blue tattoos on Jakson's cheek. Fenris was glad the man did not simply recoil from his touch.

"I… know you've always wondered how I felt about mages and templars." The elf gave him a hesitant nod. "I think the Circle is necessary but also that it doesn't work. It should be there to teach the proper use of magic and to protect people. To protect mages from people who fear them so much they would rather burn them at the stake and to protect normal people from corrupted mages."

"But you don't agree with having templars watch over mages."

"I didn't say that. Templars are there to protect mages as well as stop them from hurting others. The Order should only allow those who would treat the mages like they were people but did not let their emotions rule them when lives are in danger. We need templars because no one is better suited to stop a blood mage, it's what they're trained for. The Order however, will let just about anyone join, even those who will only use their training to rule over mages and do what they wish to them. If there were more templars like Thrask and Cullen and less like… the ones who attacked me, I wouldn't mind living in the Circle. I mean, do you know how many books they have?" Fenris felt a bit of surprise when he saw the man's usual smile grace his lips. "I could go the rest of my life just reading those books and die before I got halfway through the library. I would die a very happy and educated man."

Fenris felt a smirk tug on his lips as he gazed into happy silver eyes. "I'm sure you'd just skip over all the educational books and go straight for the romances."

"For the last time, _The Axe and the Wand_ is not just a romance! It has action and adventure!"

"Uh huh."

Jakson just smiled fondly at the elf before it turned into a sly grin. "So can I put a shirt on now, or do you prefer staring at me bare-chested?"

Jakson saw a light blush dust the other's cheeks but Fenris wore an easy smile. "To be honest," Fenris leaned back a little and crossed his arms as he eyed the man up and down slowly. "I like the view. But we are already running late I'm sure. You should finish dressing before everyone decides to bust down your door."

"Wouldn't be the first time."

"Indeed."

**I told you he liked you. **Jakson flinched when he heard Hope speak. He had not actually talked to her in a few days. Keeping the connection open between the two of them took quite a bit of energy and she had to retreat back into the Fade to rest every now and again.

Fenris saw his movement though and asked "Are you alright?"

"Oh, um." _Have you been there the entire time?_

**No. I had just returned from my rest. I opened the connection just in time to hear you start flirting again. Why? Did I miss something crucial?**

_No, Hope. I was just having some alone time. _"I'm fine, just… talking to Hope."

"Was she listening the entire time?" The look on Fenris' face said that he didn't seem pleased by the idea.

"No. She came knocking during the 'bare-chested' comment. She's usually good about giving personal space… _most_ of the time."

Before another word could be spoken a knock came from his door. "Jakson, dear. Shouldn't you be on your way?"

"Yes, mother. We'll be out in a minute." Jakson turned back to his open closet and grabbed the first shirt he could find before pulling it over his head. He grabbed his staff and turned to Fenris. "Thank you… for listening."

"As you have said many times to me, 'what are friends for?'" Jakson felt a warm bubbling sensation in his chest as he flashed another brilliant smile at the elf.

**He likes you.**

_Not now, Hope._


	13. Clearing One's Head

**Chapter 13**

Jakson walked out of his room early in the morning, wearing the robes his mother had given him. They had once belonged to his father and after his last robes had been shredded his mother had decided to pass them to him. The robes were a dark grey with a large red sash wrapped around Jakson's waist with pouches hanging on the back of it. It also had a little extra protection with metal knee guards, elbow pads, and a metal shoulder pad for his staff arm. Along with the robes, Jakson wore steel toed boots and metal bracers with the fingers on one hand covered and pointed at the end. The robes were a little big on him, the front of the robes reaching mid thigh while the back extended like a cape, almost reaching his heels. Jakson liked how the robes gave him a better range of movement than what a typical Circle mage wore.

This is the sight Leandra saw when she turned from the fireplace. A smile stretched across her face when she saw her eldest walking down the stairs. Sometimes she forgot how much Jakson took after Malcolm, both physically and personality wise. Leandra thought Jakson was the spitting image of Malcolm seeing him now, almost twenty-six with his usual short black hair that stuck up in the front, with stubble on his chin yet smooth jaw, the way he held himself up, and the robes he wore along with his golden staff. The only real difference was that Jakson never reached Malcolm's height, always being a little on the short side, and he didn't have the same warm amber eyes. What she saw were smiling silver eyes staring at her and her equally bright silver eyes staring right back as Jakson approached her.

"Mother," Jakson smiled fondly at Leandra "Good morning."

"Good morning, dear. Where are you off to?"

"Going for a jog up the Wounded Coast. Have a lot on my mind so I have to clear my head, that sort of thing." Jakson tilted his head as he studied his mother. "You look like you've got quite a bit on your mind too by the look of it. You're not usually up this early unless you're thinking about something."

Leandra's smile stretched as she spoke "And I have you to thank for that."

"Me? Do I want to know what I did this time?" Jakson joked.

"I've seen the way you and Fenris look at each other. It's clear to me how fond you are of him."

Leandra saw a blush creep up her son's cheeks. He started rubbing the back of his neck nervously before he spoke "_Mother._"

Leandra chuckled lightly "I'm sure the last thing you need is your mother prying into your life. It's just that from the care I've seen between you two it's made me wonder if I shouldn't remarry."

Jakson heard the small cheer in her voice as well as the wistfulness. A mischievous smile tugged on his lips. He waggled his eyebrows a bit as he spoke "Sounds like you already have someone in mind."

"Nothing I'm willing to share just yet so don't you go snooping!" Leandra gave a teasing glare at her son which made Jakson throw his hands up in a joking manner of peace.

"I won't! Promise, but… if anyone breaks your heart tell me and I'll give them a good zap."

"I'll be sure to let you know, now shoo! You said you needed to clear your head and I don't want you cluttering the house up with your thoughts."

"Love you too, mother." Jakson leaned over and pecked his mother on the cheek. He turned to the Mabari lying in front of the fireplace. "Come on, Watson. You could do with some fresh air as well."

Watson, who had been wide awake, leapt from his spot on the carpet and barreled toward the door. He jumped up and down barking happily as he waited for Jakson to hurry and open the door. The mage chuckled at his hound's antics. Almost fourteen years old and he still acted like a puppy, to see such an old dog still so active always brought a smile to his lips. Jakson was overtaken by sadness for a second as he knew that most Mabari were lucky if they lived to be twenty. He knew Watson would not be around forever and was it starting to become more obvious as days went by. The hound might still act like a pup but he wasn't as quick or as agile as he once was. In another year or two Jakson would probably have to leave Watson at home for the dog's own safety. Jakson wasn't going to dwell on it now though as he already had plenty on his mind and didn't need to add to the list just yet.

As he had intended when he first woke up that morning, he made his way to the coast with his gear and Watson. He wasn't particularly worried about bandits attacking. They were more concerned with caravans filled with expansive goods or gold, not a man and his dog fitted in armor. Most caravans didn't show until around noon so it wouldn't be as profitable if bandits were up and about in the morning. That didn't mean he should be reckless which is why he brought along his armor and staff along with an emergency pack he had made with herbal medicines and other things. He also made sure to leave a note for Bodahn should the dwarven manservant worry over his whereabouts or if someone needed him.

Jakson and Watson had found a small stretch of sand mostly hidden by large boulders a few years ago and Jakson often brought the hound with him for some exercise. The sand was soft and it was one of the few areas where the view of the ocean was not obstructed by crashed or half-sunken ships. The large boulders provided privacy and on mornings like this you could see the sun rise and watch the light from the sun glisten off the gentle waves. It was quite peaceful and on more than one occasion when Jakson was traipsing about the Wounded Coast with his friends he would have them stop at the hidden beach for a breather, especially after a particularly stressful day of fighting highwaymen or giant spiders. If anyone he knew needed him they would know where to go but other than his friends no one would be able to disturb him.

Once he found the hidden beach he found a smooth stone slab and set his pack on it along with his coat. He didn't really want to take it off but even after four years of living in Kirkwall and he still wasn't used to the heat and this morning was a bit warm. So having no urge to get his father's old coat sweaty he neatly folded it up before putting it on his pack. He stretched his limbs a bit before jogging down the beach at a leisurely pace with Watson at his side. He made sure not to get too far from his gear, making sure it stayed in sight as he went up and down the beach. He didn't know why but he always found it easier to clear his mind when he jogged, his thoughts just rolled out freely and untangled themselves most of the time.

The reason he needed to clear his head this day was because a certain Tevinter elf had been in his thoughts constantly for months, years actually if he was honest. On more than one night Jakson had dreamt of the elf, sometimes they were merely sitting and talking and other dreams were nothing but shameless images of the two tangled up in the sheets, panting and covered in sweat. Sometimes the dreams were nothing but a quick image here or there and sometimes it had felt so real that Jakson had to scold himself for getting hard in the morning. Such dreams happened on and off since Jakson had met the man. It seemed natural though, he'd had such dreams about other men when he was younger mostly during his teenage years.

Lately however, his mind would wonder to the elf more and more without his permission. The two, as unlikely as it seemed at first, had become close friends and Jakson could not help but become attracted to the broody elf. He had always thought Fenris was attractive and would flirt on occasion and the elf surprisingly enough would flirt right back. It seemed more of a game at first, just some friendly compliments but as time went on Jakson's flirtation became more sincere and frequent. He told himself from the first day he had met the elf that nothing could happen between them but after spending time with the other man he had started to realize the small crush he had was growing into something bigger and he had no real hope of stopping it.

Jakson spent months denying his feelings, much to Hope's confusion, but now he knew he couldn't keep lying to himself. He especially couldn't keep lying when the Spirit of Hope would not leave him be about it. Sometimes he really wished spirits and demons couldn't just walk into his dreams when he slept, they were private. Jakson knew he cared for Fenris and knew he couldn't simply wish the feelings away so he decided he was going to stop dancing around the elf and finally admit how he felt. He just didn't know how to go about it. The two had spent the past three years flirting back and forth but neither acted on it so Jakson needed to make sure Fenris knew he was serious. He was aware there was still a good chance the elf wouldn't reciprocate his feelings but he had to know instead of always wondering. The only thing he really hoped for was that if Fenris didn't feel the same that it wouldn't damage their close friendship.

After a couple hours of jogging and playing fetch with Watson Jakson had decided to take a nap on the sand. He wasn't really a fan of sand and hated it when it got stuck in his clothes because after awhile everything would start to itch but Jakson was sweaty and tired and the sand was just warm and inviting. So he leaned back against the sand and closed his eyes, taking deep and even breaths. He felt his Mabari plop down next to him and smiled because he knew Watson would keep a watchful eye out for anyone suspicious or dangerous as he slept.

He didn't know how long he had been sleeping but he was aroused by Watson's happy barking. He kept his eyes closed however, because Watson clearly wasn't sensing any danger if his happy barks were anything to go on. Jakson didn't actually bother to think what might be making the Mabari so happy so he was a bit surprised to hear the familiar deep voice that haunted his dreams. "Your mother said I'd find you here."

Jakson's eyes snapped open and he saw forest green eyes staring down at him. The sun was currently hidden by thick clouds making it is easier to see the elf without having to squint in the sunlight. Fenris was looming over him, casting a shadow over Jakson's face. He had his arms crossed and smirk tugging on his lips. Jakson had spent most of the morning trying to think of what to say to the elf and now he was being given the chance to say how he felt. He still needed to figure out how to break the ice though so he smiled at the elf as he spoke "Good morning! Wasn't expecting to see you today."

"I can tell." Fenris took a seat on the sand next to Jakson and started to scratch Watson behind the ears when he wandered over to them. "You were looking quite content. I did not mean to disturb you."

"You could never disturb me, Fenris. Did you need something?"

"No, I… just thought I would seek your company." Fenris had trained his gaze on the lapping waves but he could see Jakson's smile stretch out of the corner of his eye. The two sat in relative silence, listening to birds passing over head or the crashing of waves against the rocks. After a few minutes Fenris spoke back up "Today is the anniversary of my escape."

The comment seemed a little out of the blue to Jakson but he shrugged it off as he continued to lie in the sand. "Well then, happy anniversary!"

"Care to hear the story?"

Jakson was a little surprised at the question. Over the years, as their friendship grew, they became more comfortable talking with each other about more private things but Jakson knew that Fenris was still reluctant to talk about much of his past. He wasn't going to turn the elf down though because the way he spoke it sounded like he was carrying a weight around. He remembered how he had opened up to the elf about the scars on his back and Jakson had felt nothing but relief fill him when he finally spoken about it and was glad Fenris did not think any less of him because of those scars. If Fenris was willing to listen to his past he would return the favor he just had to be certain of one thing first. "You're not drunk are you? Because I would hate to be later accused of taking advantage of you while you weren't in the right mindset."

There was a small bark of laughter next to Jakson. "I am quite sober I promise. I finished the last of the Aggregio earlier this week."

"Then by all means, I like listening to you talk."

"And I like a man who speaks his mind."

Jakson sat up and looked at his friend as the elf spoke of his past. He listened carefully as Fenris told him of his time in Seheron and of the Fog Warriors who sheltered him. The story enthralled him at first when the elf described them and their ways, how they bowed to no one. He thought it was gripping stuff until Fenris told him how Danarius had found him and ordered him to kill the Fog Warriors. For the most part Jakson had kept his mouth shut and listened, only asking a question here or there. When Fenris admitted to killing the people who had sheltered him Jakson wasn't sure how to feel.

Fenris eventually finished his story but turned his head away in shame. "I… am sorry. Perhaps I shouldn't have said anything, I don't wish to burden you with my problems…"

"I could help you with your problems…" Jakson waited until the elf turned to face him before his smile turned a bit cheeky as he spoke, "or give you a few more."

"Heh, only a few?"

Jakson smiled when he was able to pull a smirk from the elf. "Depends how hard I work at it."

Fenris studied him a moment, his smirk disappearing. His face turned serious when he spoke next. "I am an escaped slave and an elf. Doesn't any of that bother you?"

"I'm an _apostate_ refugee, does that bother you?"

"Good point."

Jakson felt a spark of hope as it seemed the elf was not entirely against the idea of a relationship. All he had to do was make sure that the elf knew that he was being serious and hope for the best. "Fenris, I'm not going to judge you on your past. After what you've been through I doubt you will ever just forget about it but you don't live in the past anymore. I accept you for who you are today… and today you happen to be very sexy." Jakson got another bark of laughter from the elf and Jakson's face turned a bit serious. "You are also a very dear friend."

"I…" Fenris was a little speechless at the admission but his befuddled look soon turned into a genuine smile, not a smirk or twitch of the lips but a full blown smile.

The same smile Jakson loved seeing and rarely saw. He felt a warmth flood him and he couldn't help the next words that came from his mouth. "Did the sun come out or did you just smile?"

Jakson loved how the elf's smile seemed to grow at that and he loved the small blush on the elf's cheeks. Feeling bold, or perhaps reckless – Jakson wasn't quite sure – he slowly began to lean toward Fenris. Jakson was pleasantly surprised when the elf did the same, tilting his head slightly as green eyes glanced at the mage's lips. Jakson's eyes fluttered closed when he felt the gentle brush of lips against his. He had had so many dreams of kissing Fenris he could barely believe what was happening was actually real.

Both had been hesitant at first but Jakson did not complain when Fenris found a surge of confidence and put a little more force into the kiss. It quickly became heated as strong hands gripped the mage's hips firmly but not painfully. Jakson soon found himself straddling the elf when he felt the insistent hands pull him toward the elf. Jakson's hands found their way into snowy white hair as the hands on his hips started rubbing up and down his sides gently leaving a pleasant buzz against his skin even through the fabric of his shirt. Jakson released a small gasp as he felt a slick tongue wipe against his bottom lip and Fenris took the opening, plunging his tongue into the warm cavern of Jakson's mouth. The two fought for dominance in the kiss but Jakson gave in, simply enjoying the feel of the other's tongue exploring his mouth. The two pulled apart after a few moments taking in deep breaths of air.

Jakson saw the lust blown eyes and felt a pleasant shiver run down his spine because those green eyes were gazing straight into his own eyes. He felt a lyrium scarred hand move gently up his neck until it stopped to cup his cheek. "You have… no idea how long I wanted to do that." Fenris breathed gently.

Before Jakson could even think of how to respond to that he felt soft lips brush his other cheek, following the lines of his blue tattoo until they reached his jaw. Fenris trailed light kisses up the line of his jaw and pressed a firmer kiss right in the dip past the jaw, directly below the ear. Fenris smirked against the light skin as he felt the man shiver and let loose a small moan. Apparently the spot was rather sensitive as Jakson gave a louder, needier moan when Fenris nipped at the same spot and the elf made sure to catalogue the new information in the back of his mind for future reference as he had his mouth start kissing down the man's neck.

Jakson gave a small sound of disappointment when the elf suddenly pulled away. He opened his eyes, which he hadn't been aware had closed, and looked at the elf. Fenris was staring at something over his shoulder and seemed just a tad disgruntled when he spoke "Your dog is staring at us."

Jakson turned his head sharply, a blush clear on his face. Sitting with his head tilted in curiosity was Watson, tongue lolling out the side of his mouth. Jakson had completely forgotten the Mabari was even there when Fenris had started talking about his past because he had been so quiet. Jakson gave the dog a look that seemed pleading. "Shoo, boy! Nothing to see here."

Watson huffed in response before standing and trotting off between the large boulders. Jakson turned back to the elf when the hound was gone. Fenris still had a lustful look in his eye and spoke with a smirk on his face "Now, where were we?"

Fenris began to lean forward, intent on kissing the mage but before their lips could brush the two were interrupted by a familiar voice. "Hawke! Jakson Hawke, I know you're here somewhere!"

Jakson groaned when he heard Aveline's voice. She was a dear friend but he wished she had better timing. Not wanting to make the elf uncomfortable Jakson got off the man's lap before the guard could find them. He sent the elf an apologetic look before shouting "Down by the beach!"

Jakson offered Fenris a hand which was gladly accepted and the mage pulled him to his feet. Their hands lingered a moment longer before they let go. They glanced up the path to see Aveline and Varric trudging through the sand toward them with Watson right behind them. "There you are" Aveline breathed as she walked up to them. "I hate to bother you but _somebody_ just had to go and make an impression."

Jakson sighed. "What did I do?"

"Not entirely sure but the Arishok has asked Viscount for you by name. So the Viscount sent me to find you. As for the dwarf" the ginger inclined her head toward Varric, "he got dragged along for trying to get me to bully the deeds to the Hanged Man from Corff."

"Madam, I was trying no such thing, you wound me." Varric put a hand over his chest in mock hurt.

"I'm about to."

Jakson smiled at his friends' antics before turning back to the Guard Captain. "What does the Arishok want with me?"

"No clue but with tensions rising it's probably best if you spoke to him soon."

"Meaning 'now' right?" When Aveline nodded with a firm look Jakson sighed in resignation before walking over to his pack. He wiped any remnants of sand from his clothes before pulling on his coat and pack. Though he may have been interrupted during an activity he found much more pleasing than speaking with the Qunari he knew they would pick back up on it later if the look Fenris was giving him was any indication.

At first Jakson didn't think his day could get any better. He was right; it had gotten worse all because the group was ambushed by a couple slavers who wanted the elf returned to Tevinter.


End file.
